Desperate for work, Jennifer accepted the job even though it meant traveling to a different city every day. She thanked the HR manager and headed home, where she told her kids she had finally found a job. After spending almost $30 on the cab ride, Jennifer realized she couldn’t afford to commute like that every day. It would be better to have her own car, but she didn’t have the money to buy one. She decided her best option was to buy a used car. She found one but wondered if the owner would agree to sell it for a lower price. “Would you be able to sell this car for $5,000? I’m a single mom with four kids,” she asked.
She explained that it had been hard for her to make money as a single mom of four, and she needed a car to take a job in a nearby city. When the owner heard about her situation, he agreed to sell the car for $5,000. “If you can buy the car by tomorrow, I’ll sell it to you for $5,000,” he said. Jennifer was very grateful for the lower price. She tried to get a loan from the bank to buy the car the next day, but her bad credit caused the loan to be rejected immediately.
Running out of options, Jennifer thought hard about what to do next. She couldn’t move to a new city because her oldest child, Ethan, had just started school near their trailer park. Also, rent in the nearby city was much higher, and she couldn’t take the trailer with her. She really needed a car to get to work and pick up her children from school and daycare. Then she remembered the gold chain necklace her late mother had left her, which had been in the family for generations. Even though it made her sad, Jennifer knew she had to sell it to buy the car and provide for her children.
She took the necklace to a pawnshop and said, “I’m sorry, Mom. I really need to do this right now.” The necklace was valued at $5,500, which made Jennifer happy because it was enough to buy the car and have some money left for daily needs. The next day, she went back to the car dealership and gave the owner, Jeff, an envelope with $5,000. “Thank you for agreeing to sell this to me. You have no idea how much this will help me and my children,” she said.
Jeff smiled and said, “Congratulations on your car. This is a great purchase.” While Jennifer was signing the paperwork, Jeff quietly put something in the trunk of the car. As she was about to drive home, he called out, “By the way, check the trunk when you get home. I left something for your children inside.” Jennifer was so busy commuting to work and taking care of her children that she forgot to check the trunk until she found a note in the glove compartment. The note said, “I hope you and your children like the gift I left in the trunk. May it be of great help to you.”
Curious, Jennifer opened the trunk and was confused at first when she saw only a white envelope. Then she realized it was the same envelope she had used to pay for the car. Inside, she found the $5,000 untouched. Overwhelmed by the man’s kindness, Jennifer drove back to the dealership after work to thank Jeff. He told her, “Life throws challenges at you, and it’s up to you to either overcome them or give in. I’m proud of you for staying strong for your children, and I thought you could use the money more than I could. Just remember to pay it forward.”
Why More Happy Couples Prefer to Sleep in Separate Beds
According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
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