Now don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t annoying me because I was a mean mother-in-law (MIL) who hated her. But because of her selfish question. It seemed I was expected to always be around. “I am going on a vacation to the Bahamas. I already bought the tickets and booked myself at a lovely hotel.”
My son and DIL exchanged surprised looks before staring at me as if I’d grown a second head. “This is so unlike you, mom. Who are you going with?” I rolled my eyes at George’s response. He’d somehow forgotten that before he had kids, I was jetsetting every few months!
“That’s not true my love. I used to travel all the time when my time was mine,” I replied a bit irritated. I couldn’t believe how clueless he’d become when it came to my life. “Well, where are we going to get someone to babysit the kids for free every day?”
I realized at that moment that I’d spoiled these two. “Your parents are a start, Sarah. Arrange play dates with your friends’ children or something, I don’t know,” I said in frustration. Why was I the one who had to figure out what THEY did with their own children?
It dawned on me how much I had made them dependent on me. It wasn’t my intention, I think I took the Gam-Gam role a bit too far, and I so loved my little munchkins! They gave me so much to live for. But I was tired and needed a break.
Without waiting for their response, which I anticipated would make me angry, I turned to leave. “I will send you the details of when I leave, where I’ll be staying, and when I’ll return. Toodles!” I heard them falling over themselves as they tried to catch up to my quick stride.
They were LITERALLY trying to get ME to tell THEM what to do with their children! But I was having none of it and quickly closed the door before rushing to my car and driving away. Yes, I felt like I was escaping and running away from my responsibilities and I HATED that feeling!
When I arrived home, my DIL had left several voice messages that I had no intention of listening to. My therapist was the one who made me realize I was overworked and needed some time off. I was oblivious to that as I continued stretching myself to my limits.
She, my therapist, knocked it into my head that I was overcompensating by trying to be the best MIL and grandmother while losing myself. I stuck to my promise and sent George and Sarah all the details of my travels as a courtesy.
The next few weeks were filled with Sarah trying to convince me to leave with the kids. When she wasn’t trying to do that, she tried to get me to stay and not leave. “I need to do this for ME, Sarah. You won’t understand,” I explained, trying to get her off my back.
If my DIL wasn’t the one pestering me, my son got in on it. But with the words of my therapist playing in my head, “Stick to your guns. You are doing this for YOUR well-being,” I remained resolute in my decision.
When the fateful day came, I announced my departure to my son and left. For two glorious days on vacation, I had nothing but massages, long beach walks, drank piña coladas, and enjoyed the sunsets!
On the third day, my mood was spoiled when I suddenly received a disturbing message from my DIL. “George is on his business trip, my parents have house repairs, and I’m going on MY retreat,” her text began.
“And you know what? It’s in the Bahamas!! Isn’t it amazing? We’re already boarding, I need you to watch the kiddos!” Annoyed is an understatement for what I was feeling! I couldn’t understand, so HER parents have repairs, and I have a vacation, so I can babysit the kids?!
I was MAD AS HELL! I was practically seething! This time I leaned on my own faculties and decided to teach her a lesson on mutual respect. When they pitched, I was my usual affectionate self to my grandbabies and hugged and kissed them.
I then spent an hour bonding with the pair while Sarah mumbled about how SHE had to MEDITATE tomorrow. But the next day, I got an irritated call from her. “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? WHERE ARE YOU?!” she had the nerve to demand.
All calm and relaxed as I had anticipated that type of response, I answered, “I’m at the spa, getting a massage. Why do you ask?” Sounding more frustrated, my DIL replied, “Why would you not answer your phone?!”
“The kids have been driving ME crazy, and I need a break!” I had finally had enough of her nonsense and took a deep breath before responding. “I hear you talking about what YOU need and want, but have you asked ME what my plans are?”
“Has it even occurred to YOU to find out if I WANT to babysit during MY vacation and time away?” I heard her gasp as she tried cutting in all respectful this time, saying, “Mrs. Thomas, I…” But I cut her off and continued my rant.
“Do you know what I am doing here, huh? Do you even CARE?” My voice went up a notch. “You receive what you deserve, Sarah. And maybe it’s time for YOU and George to learn a lesson about respect!”
My DIL was stunned into silence. She realized for the first time in two years the depth of her imposition. Her voice had softened as she stammered, “I… I didn’t think… I just assumed…”
I wasn’t done with her as I replied, “That’s exactly the problem we have, you assumed and KEEP assuming. I love my grandkids, but I also NEED my own time.”
“This was MY vacation. It’s time I took off so I can recuperate and have some self-care.” I could hear from the silence on the other side that Sarah was feeling guilty. She was FINALLY understanding where I was coming from.
“I’ve given you and Georgie two long years of my love and dedication.” I shared how I’d stretched myself because I wanted to be a good MIL and grandmother. I also wanted to be there for them as they transitioned into parenthood.
But then I went too far as they kept demanding more and more of my time. I confessed to my DIL that I started feeling burnt out. Yet, because I hadn’t felt the feeling before, I didn’t realize what was happening to me.
A friend I confided in suggested I see her therapist. That’s when it finally clicked that I was wearing myself thin. I was quite upset as I ended my rant by stating, “Next time, respect MY plans and ask, don’t just assume I’m here to serve your convenience!”
Sarah paused for a long time on the other end of the line and I was about to say something when she finally sighed. It appeared she finally understood the weight of my words and where I was coming from.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I should have asked. I’ll make other arrangements,” my DIL replied, sounding defeated. I won’t lie, I felt a tinge of regret for how I approached things, but decided it was something that had to be done.
After all, as they say, people treat the way you teach them to. I thanked her for understanding. “Now, I’m going to enjoy the rest of my vacation. I suggest you find a way to enjoy yours too, without relying on me.”
I didn’t wait for a response before hanging up and felt the most serene wave of satisfaction! I had stood up for myself and drew boundaries that taught my DIL a valuable life lesson! I happily returned to my massage, content that I would not be disturbed anymore.
I felt the stress melt away from my body as the masseuse kneaded longstanding knots that had built up over the years. I was pleased to know that I had managed to reclaim my well-deserved break.
Unfortunately, Mrs. Thomas isn’t the only person who’s had to take measures to teach people important lessons. Mark’s mother kept nagging his pregnant wife to the point that the younger woman had to leave. Not wanting his mother to miss her mistake, Mark found a clever way to teach the parent about respect and boundaries.
Paul McCartney’s only son James makes rare appearance with father – his looks are highly criticized by fans
In the 2000s, James played backup percussion and guitar for some of his dad’s solo releases, like “Flaming Pie” and “Driving Rain.” He also played lead guitar for his mom on the track “The Light Comes from Within,” on the posthumously released album “Wide Prairie.”
When his mom died in 1998, James admits that his ‘perfect world’ was destroyed.
“When I was 17 I wrote my first song and then Mum was diagnosed with cancer. She died when I was 20 and that’s when I went into a very dark period,” he said. He continued, “I was studying art, photography and English at college. I had spent a lot of time at home with Mum and Dad. I got a bit of flak from the college because I wasn’t really present, but I never regretted spending that time with her.”
James found solace in drugs and alcohol, and distanced himself from the family. Adding to his struggles was his relationship his dad’s new wife, Heather Mills, whom Paul was married to from 2002 to 2008.
“My relationship with Heather was not very good. I didn’t like her. But I wouldn’t want to say anything negative about her because she’s a good mother to Beatrice and that’s the most important thing,” James said, speaking of his baby sister that Paul shares with Mills. “Beatrice is adorable. She’s great, a real joy for the whole family.”
In 2007, when his award-winning dad was hospitalized and had angioplasty surgery, James reconnected with his family. “Dad’s great now but that episode made me realize how important he is to me. He was suffering in his own way [because of his high-profile split from Mills]. He was under stress. In hindsight I wish I’d been more supportive,” James said.
In 2011, Paul married Nancy Shevell, to which James says, “Nancy’s my new mother. I feel that. Definitely. She’s very genuine.”
“I removed myself from my family for a while. Now I want to immerse myself in them,” James shared. “I love Dad so much. I’m in a happy place. I’m not high, which is a good thing. I just want to be the best person I can be.”
Slowly gaining traction as a reputable musician, James released his debut single “Available Light” (2010) and then, collaborated with his dad, who worked as co-producer, James delivered his first album, “Me” in 2013, followed by “The Blackberry Train” in 2016.
Though he lived a mostly private life, he told the BBC in 2012 that as a child, he aimed to be “better than the Beatles.”
“When I got to a certain age, I realized that I was somewhat better than other kids at school at guitar and took pride and enjoyment in that,” James said (as per the Daily Mail).
“I then dreamt of being better than The Beatles. I’m not sure if I can do that. If anything, I would love to be equal to The Beatles–but even that’s quite tough.”
He even revealed he was wanting to reanimate the Beatles with the progeny of the Fab Four, including John Lennon’s son, Sean, son of George, Dhani Harrison, and Ringo Starr’s two boys Zach and Jason Starkey.
But quickly shutting down the media explosion over a Beatles incarnation, NBC reports that James clarified that it was just a thought. “Well, looks like quite some attention being given to my BBC interview! Honestly, I was just thinking out loud about playing with Beatles family friends, nothing more. My band’s going to be on tour in the UK and US for most of this year, and the shows are going great! I’m so grateful…. Lots of love to you all…!”
Recently, James appeared with his dad and big sisters at the private viewing of the “Paul McCartney 1963-64: Eyes of the Storm” exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery in London.
The exhibition features extraordinary photographs taken by Sir Paul of The Beatles’ early days.
James, looking similar to his famous dad, was dapper in a black suit paired with a white shirt at the star-studded event.
Tossed into the spotlight where he’s vulnerable to criticism, fans shared their harsh opinions of James, who is a recovering addict.
“They look very much alike! I think this is what Paul would’ve looked like (in his heyday) if he was overweight and didn’t look after himself. His son needs to start looking after himself. It seems as though he over eats, probably an alcoholic. And doesn’t look like his hygiene is up to par.”
Many, reacted to the Daily Mail writing on Facebook that James is Handsome: “They have a different standard of what ‘handsome’ is….Yikes!” writes one user, while another said, “I don’t think I would say he was handsome got his dad’s eyes but that’s all.”
Some suggested that James aged poorly: “Sorry to say this but his son looks like his father and his father looks like his son.”
Falling into the minority of cyber citizens defending James, one follower writes, “Wow look at all the women body shaming the poor guy for his looks, if it was a woman they would be all up in arms if there was any negative comments, leave him alone ffs nothing wrong with him….probably gets more women than most men in here too lol.”
Have you heard any music released by James McCartney? Are you more likely to listen to his recordings because he is the son of a musical legend or are you the type of person who prefers independent artists?
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