I’m a full-time mom. About a year ago, I left my job to take care of our three-year-old daughter, who is autistic and requires a lot of support. Lately, I’ve noticed that my usually feminist husband has been criticizing me in a group chat.
Transitioning into the role of a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) wasn’t something I had envisioned for myself. I used to thrive in the fast-paced world of marketing, surrounded by campaigns and fueled by brainstorming sessions over coffee. But all that changed a little over a year ago when my husband, Jake, and I made a significant decision. Our daughter, Lily, who is three and autistic, needed more attention than what her daycare could provide. Her needs are complex, requiring constant care and support, and it became clear that one of us had to be with her full-time.
I won’t sugarcoat it — leaving my career behind was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made. I miss the freedom of earning my own income and the satisfaction of a job well done. But here I am now, spending my days planning meals, cooking, and baking. I’ve found joy in these tasks, and experimenting in the kitchen has become my new creative outlet.
Our backyard has turned into a small garden oasis under my care, and I take care of most of the household chores. Jake does his fair share too; he’s actively involved in chores and parenting whenever he’s at home. We’ve always considered ourselves equals, rejecting traditional gender roles, or so I thought until last week.
It was a regular Thursday, and I was tidying up Jake’s home office while he was at work. It’s filled with tech gadgets and piles of paperwork, typical for someone in software development. His computer screen caught my eye — it was still on, casting a soft glow in the dim room. He usually left it on by accident, but what I saw next wasn’t accidental at all.
His Twitter feed was open, and I froze when I saw the hashtag #tradwife attached to a tweet. Confusion washed over me as I read the post. It glorified the joys of having a traditional wife who embraces her domestic duties. Attached was a photo of me, taking a batch of cookies out of the oven, looking every bit like a 1950s housewife. My stomach churned as I scrolled through more posts. There I was again, tending to the garden and reading to Lily, our faces thankfully obscured.
This was Jake’s account, and he had been crafting a whole narrative about our life that was far from reality. He portrayed me as a woman who relished her role as a homemaker, willingly sacrificing her career for aprons and storybooks. The truth of our situation — that this arrangement was a necessity for our daughter’s well-being — was nowhere to be seen.
I felt betrayed. Here was the man I’d loved and trusted for over a decade, sharing our life with strangers under a false pretense that felt foreign to me. It wasn’t just the lies about our relationship dynamics that hurt — it was also the realization that he was using these glimpses of our life to bolster some online persona.
I shut the computer down, my hands trembling with a mix of anger and bewilderment. All day, I grappled with my emotions, trying to comprehend why Jake would do this. Was he dissatisfied with our situation? Did he resent my decision to stay home? Or was it something deeper, a shift in how he perceived me now that I wasn’t contributing financially?
The rest of the day passed in a blur. His posts kept replaying in my mind, and eventually, I couldn’t ignore them any longer. I decided to call him and address everything head-on.
“Jake, we need to talk,” I finally said, trying to keep my voice steady.
He answered, sounding concerned. “What’s wrong?”
I took a deep breath, the weight of my discovery weighing heavily on me. “I saw your Twitter today…”
His expression fell, and he let out a long sigh, indicating he knew exactly what this conversation was about to entail. He started to respond, but I interrupted him.
“Calm down,” he said, dismissing it as “just harmless posting.” That was the final straw. I told him I wanted a divorce, called him out for his deceit, and ended the call.
Jake rushed home immediately. We argued, but with Lily’s strict schedule, I couldn’t let the conflict drag on. He pleaded with me to have a proper conversation after putting Lily to bed. Reluctantly, I agreed. That night, he showed me his phone, revealing that he had deleted the Twitter account. But the damage was already done.
A week passed, and my anger hadn’t subsided. This wasn’t a simple misunderstanding. It was a breach of trust. Jake attempted to explain, claiming it started as a joke, but he got carried away with the attention it garnered. But excuses weren’t enough.
Motivated by a mix of hurt and the need for justice, I decided to expose him. I took screenshots of his tweets and shared them on my Facebook page. I wanted our friends and family to know the truth. My post was straightforward: “Your husband belittles you in front of his friends behind your back. Sound familiar?”
The response was immediate. Our relatives were shocked, and the comments poured in. Jake was inundated with messages and calls. He left work early once more to beg for my forgiveness. He knelt, tears in his eyes, pleading that it was all just a “silly game.”
But I couldn’t let it go. The trust that bound us together was broken. It wasn’t just about a few misguided posts; it was about the respect and understanding we were supposed to have for each other. I told him I needed time and space to think and heal. I moved out with Lily to another apartment.
For six months, Jake begged for forgiveness. He sent messages, left voicemails, and made small gestures to show he was sorry. But sorry wasn’t enough. I told him that if he truly wanted to make amends, we needed to start anew. In my eyes, we were strangers now, and he had to court me like he did years ago when we first met.
So, we began again, slowly. We went on dates, starting with coffee and progressing to dinners. We talked a lot — about everything except the past. It was like rediscovering ourselves individually and as a couple. Jake was patient, perhaps realizing this was his last chance to salvage our once-loving relationship.
As I sit here now, reflecting on the past year, I realize how much I’ve changed. This betrayal forced me to reevaluate not only my marriage but also myself and my needs. I’ve learned that forgiveness isn’t just about accepting an apology; it’s about feeling secure and valued again. It’s a gradual process, one that we’re both committed to, step by step.
What would you have done if you were in my shoes? Share your thoughts on Facebook.
Candace Leslie Cima, 76, is not an ordinary grandma. While she chooses to age gracefully, people often criticize her for her style.
A 76-year-old lady has come under fire for not dressing appropriately for her age.
Candace Leslie Cima showed off her perfect form in a stylish black one-piece swimsuit in response to the criticism, unfazed by it.
She continues to demonstrate that women can still look stunning and stylish at any age, unaffected by the remarks of those who despise them.
Buffalo, New York, native Candace Leslie Cima, 76, is a mother, a businesswoman, a grandmother, a model, and an artist. She gained notoriety for her blog, “Life In My 70s: Aging Is Changing,” where she offered tips on fashion and lifestyle and talked about how women should accept all the aspects of aging that come with it naturally.
Cima claims that she has always been fascinated by the idea of aging and the frequently unfavorable connotations associated with it. In her twenties and thirties, she became interested in the aging process.
She has been a businesswoman for more than 32 years and is the owner of a senior living complex. Cima came to the following conclusion about the years she spent getting to know senior citizens from all backgrounds:
“One thing is certain in my knowledge: aging is changing. Neither our mothers nor our grandmothers are us. We now have the opportunity to live fulfilling lives as stylish, intellectual, caring, and compassionate women far into old age.
In addition to her fame for showing off her stunning looks on her TikTok account, Cima is also well-known for wearing really fashionable and, dare I say, youthful clothing. Even with 94,000 TikTok followers, Cima frequently faces trolling because of the content that she chooses to share.
The gorgeous person receives a lot of flak for wearing clothes that are too big for her age. Nevertheless, the unfazed 76-year-old refuses to let her critics affect her in any way and instead responds by wearing the outfits she desires.
She was spotted wearing an elegant daytime ensemble in a previous TikTok video, which looked like something someone in their late 20s to early 30s may have also worn: an open-toed white stiletto and an edgy pale blue blouse.
A previous critical remark from a viewer stating that Cima shouldn’t be wearing what she is wearing at sixty years old is included in the video’s text. She corrects the viewer while flaunting her skills in the video, shutting down the remark and stating that, in fact, she was 75 years old at the time.
Her reappearance in a TikTok video last year, where she wore a stylish, figure-hugging black one-piece bikini while on vacation in Florida, was another mic-drop moment. Her admirers praised her appearance as they strolled around the poolside area.
Cima’s TikTok social media account was first made to inspire users to get rid of any bad associations with becoming older. She wants to give women the confidence to accept the beauty that comes with aging gracefully and naturally, regardless of their age.
Unaffected by those who have advised her not to wear particular clothes because they are inappropriate for her age, Cima keeps motivating other senior ladies. She often discusses the aspects of aging she enjoys on her blog.
Her favorite aspects of becoming older are being bold, learning to do something new, being less stressed, and having the maturity to accept things beyond her control. Cima believes that growing older might be the best stage of a person’s life:
Many women in their latter years lead active, satisfying lives. Record-breaking and barrier-breaking women are becoming more and more prevalent.
It goes without saying that Cima, who has immersed herself in every aspect of aging, acknowledges that occasionally, older women place restrictions on their own abilities. She is, however, emphatic that other senior women refuse to be moulded or influenced by the discourse that suggests women are incapable of performing certain tasks after a certain age.
Cima claims that as she has aged, she has become increasingly mindful of the ways in which stress and worry impact her. She reveals that while the sensations are inevitable, she eventually discovered via meditation and time management techniques how to balance and improve her connection with her stress and anxiety in order to counteract the harmful bodily impacts of those unpleasant emotions.
Cima is still ignoring the ageist insults that her detractors on social media are spewing at her.
Experience and perspective that come with growing older help to shape a person’s outlook on life. Says Cima:
“Attitude is everything, and your perspective on a subject can alter your feelings toward it. You can alter the result by altering your feelings about it. Growing older doesn’t mean giving up; rather, it means you’ve gained knowledge that, if you so choose, is unstoppable.
Cima’s trim body stands out on its own, even in addition to her eye-catching wardrobe choices. The 76-year-old keeps up her amazing body via regular exercise and fitness.
She demonstrated her amazing yogic abilities while practicing her daily yoga regimen in another TikTok video that she uploaded. Cima demonstrates her extraordinary flexibility by bending and contorting into a variety of forms and stances.
Cima was shown on her yoga mat in the 38-second video, clad entirely in black sportswear. She amazed onlookers, inspiring them to see an elderly woman capable of such feats, from the cat-camel stretch to a full-blown split. One observer made the following comment:
“You are truly an inspiration! As an example of graceful and healthy aging, I have started following a few older ladies on social media at the age of 44.
Cima is still ignoring the ageist insults that her detractors on social media are spewing at her. She never gives up on her mission to encourage women who might not feel at ease in their senior years and to serve as an inspiration to others who are looking for role models.
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