According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
A Mom Faces Criticism for Painting Stretch Marks on Her Daughter’s Doll
In an age where unrealistic beauty standards and airbrushed images saturate media platforms, one mother’s bold decision has ignited a fierce debate. Instead of following what everyone else thinks, she did something empowering and accepting. She painted stretch marks on her daughter’s doll.
Kate writes books for kids.
Kate Claxton, is a talented author dedicated to inspiring children. Among her notable works is the multi-award-winning picture book, “My Mum’s a Tiger!” Crafted with love and a profound understanding of the challenges faced by many, Claxton created this heartfelt story as a cherished gift for her baby’s first birthday.
Little did she know that her creation would transcend personal boundaries and resonate with countless individuals around the globe. “My Mum’s a Tiger!” serves as a powerful reflection of the experiences of numerous real-life people who grew up being told that their scars, stripes, spots, and so-called ’flaws’ should be concealed.
She has body-inclusive dolls for her kids at home.
Claxton not only writes empowering books but also practices what she preaches in her own home. Recognizing the importance of body inclusivity and normalizing the beauty of individuality, Claxton provides her children with body-inclusive dolls. As much as she adores her acclaimed work, “My Mum’s a Tiger,” which beautifully embraces tiger stripes and other unique features, Claxton understands her daughter’s fascination with dolls and their ability to be dressed and undressed.
Consequently, she took it upon herself to modify one of these dolls, adding the very stripes that so many people cover up. Claxton believes in embracing differences and encourages others to do the same, offering a poignant line from her book: “Let’s take what makes us different and instead of trying to hide, let’s be more like animals and wear our marks with pride.”
Some people criticized her for painting the dolls.
Inevitably, not everyone embraced Kate Claxton’s initiative of painting the dolls. But Claxton takes pride in the fact that her Barbie craft session sparked conversations and stirred up reactions. However, she acknowledges that reading the comments can sometimes be disheartening, particularly when encountering individuals who completely miss the point.
Among the critical comments, one person questioned the motive behind painting the dolls, asking, “Why make young girls worry more about their bodies? I’ve got no stretch marks, so maybe it would be better to teach them about being positive rather than negative about their bodies.” Another comment echoed a similar sentiment, stating, “Why make girls worry more all the time? I had three kids and no stretch marks. Make them think positive.”
She doesn’t listen to the mean comments.
Despite encountering some less-than-supportive remarks, Claxton chooses to scroll past those comments, refusing to let them overshadow the positive impact and meaningful discussions her efforts have generated. While acknowledging these differing viewpoints, Claxton remains committed to her mission of promoting positivity and fostering a healthy body image in children.
Another mom that received a lot of attention for her unique parenting style was actress Kristen Bell. Known for her refreshing approach to raising her children, Bell brings a combination of compassion, empathy, and open-mindedness to the table. In a candid moment on her podcast, Kristen Bell openly shared a personal anecdote about her daughter’s developmental journey, revealing that her daughter wore diapers until the age of 5.
Preview photo credit reallyratherwild / Instagram
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