After Cecile’s husband, Henry, passes on, she seeks solace by moving into her son’s house. But when she gets there, her daughter-in-law makes her choose between their dark and unwelcoming basement and a nursing home. What happens when Cecile decides on another option altogether?
Losing a partner after forty years of marriage is traumatizing. Loneliness is felt immediately, but it becomes all the more consuming as time goes on. When Henry, my husband, died of a heart attack, I felt this sense of loneliness harder than anything else.
The grief took over, and all I wanted was to be around family. I have two sons, Jack and Edward – Edward moved to Oxford straight out of college because he was awarded the opportunity to further his studies. He calls me every evening just to chat about our days. Jack, on the other hand, lives not too far away from me. He is married to Lucy and has a son named after my husband.
So, now that I’m all alone in this big house Henry bought when we were just starting our family, I’ve been trying to decide whether to sell the house or live with Jack, as he offered, or move out by myself.I decided to try living with Jack. It would be the most comforting thing. But little did I know, Lucy had other plans for my accommodation. I asked my niece to pack up the place while I settled into my new home with Jack and his family. So, I was at their doorstep, suitcases at my feet
. Ready to take on the role of a live-in mother and grandmother — taking over the kitchen whenever Lucy needed me. Lucy came to open the door, a mug of coffee in her hand, and told me that their house was bursting at the seams with the limited space and that the only room available was Henry Jr.’s room. But she wasn’t about to upset the room and change it in any way. It was for Henry when he returned from his semester at college. I understood that. It was his space, and I didn’t want to be a burden.
But I had assumed that Jack would have sorted something out for me — he was the one who asked me to move in if I needed it. “Cecile, we’ve got a bit of a space issue, as you can see,” Lucy repeated. “You’ve got two options,” she continued. “There is the basement, or there’s a nursing home. Your call, grandma.” Talk about a rock and a hard place. Now, let me tell you about their basement.
It’s not the basement you may find in some homes — there’s no converted space for gaming, sewing, or arts and crafts. It’s not a den or cozy room for guests. Jack’s basement is more of a cold, humid dungeon with a bedframe that sighed at every move and a mattress with sharp springs. This was not the comfort I needed.”Lucy,” I said, shuffling my weight from one foot to the other.
“I appreciate the options, dear. But I’ll pass on the basement and nursing home combo.” Cue to my son — trying to play the peacemaker. He came up from behind Lucy, his arm around her waist. “Mom, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking when I invited you to stay. Lucy has a point. We’re tight on space. I promise to get some furniture for the basement to make it comfortable for you.” A basement life wasn’t for me. A nursing home wasn’t for me — at least not yet. So, I just took matters into my own hands.
I dragged my suitcases to the car and drove to my niece’s home. I stayed there for a week while looking for a place I could buy. The house was already on the market, and once it was sold, I knew I would have more than enough money to buy a small place for myself. When everything was settled, my niece helped me move in, and I felt empowered. Maybe I didn’t need family as much as I thought I did.
Edward was worried about me being alone, but I reassured him I would be fine. I moved into the new apartment soon after – a cozy one-bedroom, perfect for me and the cat I hoped to adopt. The bonus was that it came fully furnished, so I didn’t have to worry about anything.
Then, Jack phoned and asked me to dinner with him and Lucy. I drove to their home, wondering what they expected from me. We sat down for dinner, and I told them I had bought an apartment and lived there alone. “I thought you were staying with Mia,” Jack said, referring to my niece.”You can’t be serious!” Lucy exclaimed at the same time. “I did stay with Mia until I moved. I needed my own space.”
“You said that you want to be around family, so I offered,” Jack said, turning red. “Yes, but if it meant being shipped off to a nursing home or having to stay in your basement, I think I’m better off alone.” Then, I left. A few weeks later, I adopted my cat. But I also rewrote my will, leaving everything to Edward, who continues putting money into my account every month, even though I told them I didn’t need it.
“A son must help his Mom,” he said. He also asked me if I wanted to move abroad with him — but how could I? I needed to be close to where Henry rests, at least for now. So, from basement dilemmas to a cozy haven of my own, life certainly throws you for a loop. If your child gave you those options, what would you have done? Here’s another story for you: Elizabeth placed her father in a nursing home and never saw him again. She only visited him at his funeral. But the young woman’s karma caught up with her and taught her a harsh lesson when she received a letter from him after his death…
Science Shows That Women Sleep Better Next To Dogs Than Men
The importance of sleep for one’s health should go without saying. The ideal approach to obtain restful sleep is a topic of great interest to a large number of researchers. But forget about meditating before bed and drinking chamomile tea. It has been found that women sleep better when their dogs are nearby. That’s correct, a study by Canisius College in New York State revealed that dogs make more comfortable sleeping companions than either people or cats.
Christy Hoffman, Ph.D., an animal behaviorist and the study’s chief researcher, said, “We found that women commonly rate dogs as better bed partners than cats and human partners and report that their dogs enhance their sleep quality.”
According to Research, Women Sleep Better Next to Dogs
Hoffman arrived at these conclusions after surveying almost a thousand American women. According to the findings, 31% of the participants and 55% of the participants shared a bed with a cat or a dog. Moreover, 57% of these ladies slept in the same bed as a human companion, compared to the other 40%.[1]
Hoffman also found out why dogs appeared to be the most comfortable bedmates.The first explanation is that dogs’ sleeping habits more closely reflect human sleep patterns than those of cats.
Hoffman stated, “It is not surprising that dogs and cats have different sleep schedules because dogs’ major sleep periods tend to coincide more closely with humans’ than do cats’.”
Even though these similar sleeping habits might have advantages, additional research is necessary to be certain. However, Hoffman has some ideas about how this might function.
She said, “Dogs may be better at accommodating their human’s sleep schedule than human bed partners.” Human bed companions frequently go to sleep and wake up at significantly different times from one another. Sleep disruption is undoubtedly a result of schedule discrepancies between spouses. It’s possible that canine bed companions adjust to their owner’s schedule more easily than do human bed partners.
Dogs also need specific routines and obligations, like an early morning stroll. These kinds of regimens support their users in sticking to a schedule, which enhances the quality of their sleep.
\Calm and Safety
Dogs also have a tendency to remain rigid during sleep. Anyone who has ever shared a bed with a fidgety partner understands how annoying they can be. Nonetheless, the study’s female participants stated that, in contrast to cats, who tended to come and go, their dogs spent the most of the night on the bed.
This implies that cats might be more prone than dogs to disturb sleep by getting in and out of bed at different times. Furthermore, Hoffman stated, “We discovered that dog owners tended to go to bed and wake up earlier than cat owners and also adhered to more regular bedtime and wake time schedules.”
The third and most crucial reason is that dogs provide their owners a sense of security.more so than in relationships with humans or even cats.
“Some dog owners may find solace in the knowledge that their pet will notify them in the event of an intruder or other emergency; also, a dog’s barking may dissuade a possible invader. Hoffman stated that whereas a dog may offer psychological consolation, a cat is less likely to assume this function.
The Ideal Sleep Partner
Dogs are the ideal sleeping companions, according to the study, although their advantages vary depending on the situation.A dog might, for instance, snore or overheat the bed. Furthermore, a lot of owners report that their cats aid in their ability to go asleep.
Remember that the study relied on the volunteers’ perceptions of the effects of their pets on the quantity and quality of their sleep. Therefore, further impartial study is required before it can be said with certainty that dogs make better sleeping companions. Nonetheless, Hoffman thinks that since pets are common in American homes, these research might be helpful.
“This line of research will be valuable to develop a clearer picture of the contexts under which co-sleeping with a pet may be detrimental to one’s sleep quality, and the contexts under which pets and their presence in their owner’s bed may positively impact sleep quality,” the spokesperson stated.
For example, studies have indicated that women sleep better on their alone than in the company of a human, but many people hold the opposite view. In the future, scientists may employ Fitbit-like gadgets to measure people’s sleep quality objectively under various sleeping scenarios.
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