According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Florida man arrested for vulgar sticker on truck
A Florida man was arrested for displaying an obscene bumper sticker on the back of his truck, one that either expressed his sexual preferences, or his love for a four-legged animal.
After Dillon Shane Webb was told the sticker was “derogatory,” he claimed his freedom of expression was violated, and the deputy’s office asked if he was using his free speech to express his desire of “eating a donkey.”
Keep reading to learn why Webb was arrested over a bumper sticker!
In 2019, a Columbia County sheriff’s deputy was driving behind a pickup truck when he noticed a vulgar sticker plastered on the middle of the rear window.
Dashcam footage shows Deputy Travis English stopping his cruiser in a parking lot behind the brown pickup, operated by Dillon Shane Webb, 23, with the bumper sticker in clear view.
The letters on the sticker – printed in bold white – reads, “I EAT A**.”
In the video, the deputy approaches the passenger side of the truck and after saying, “hello gentleman,” he explains that he pulled the car over due to “the derogatory sticker” displayed on the back of his truck.
In Florida, law prohibits “any sticker, decal emblem or other device attached to a motor vehicle containing obscene descriptions, photographs or depictions.”
“How’s it derogatory?” Webb asks from inside the car.
The officer replies, “How’s it not derogatory?”
“Some 10-year-old kid sitting in the passenger seat of his momma’s vehicle looks over and sees ‘I eat a**’ and asks his mom what it means,” English says. “How is she going to explain that?”
Sniping back, the driver provides the wrong answer: “That’s the parent’s job, not my job,” Webb says before he’s asked to present his driver’s license and registration.
After stepping out of the vehicle, Webb is searched, and the deputy tells him the sticker is a “misdemeanor violation of Florida’s obscene materials law.”
“I have four kids…if my 6-year-old was to look at me and like, ‘dad what does I eat a** mean?…he’s curious…and the way [you] handled this situation, I’m not pleased with,” English said before offering Webb the opportunity to explain his sticker to the court system.
Next, the deputy suggests Webb remove one of the letters from the word “A**” to read “AS.” But Webb refused, citing his constitutional right to free speech.
A few minutes later, things take a nasty turn for Webb.
After confirming with his supervisor that he had reasonable rights within the law, English steps out of his cruiser and approaches Webb, who’s leaning against his car, looking at his cellphone.
“All right Mr. Webb. Place your hands behind your back,” Webb is told. When he asks “why?” he learns “because you’re going to jail.”
Asking “for what?” English explains that he was given “the option to take that off” the window, but he “refused.”
He was then arrested and charged with the additional offense of “resisting an officer without violence.”
‘Perverted mind’
“They’re just words,” Webb later told First Coast News. “If that’s how they feel, if they have a perverted mind, that’s on them.”
But according to Sergeant Murray Smith of the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office, it wasn’t just the words on the sticker that Deputy English determined was illegal.
“It was the obscene phrase depicting what the deputy thought was a sexual act, which is obscene by definition,” said Smith. “What would a reasonable citizen think? Is the guy eating a donkey or is he doing a sexual act?”
The incident captured the attention of a lot of social media users, the majority who defended Webb.
“So what if he eats donkey. What’s the big deal?” asks one netizen. Another, referring to English speaking of his child’s potential reaction to the sticker, says, “Since when are a cop’s feelings deserving of an arrest?”
“I live here and as soon as we heard he got arrested we all went and got the sticker and put it on [our] trucks,” pens a third.
Another adds, “He better keep his kids off the internet. They will see far worse than this.”
The State Attorney’s Office cited the First Amendment and the charges against Webb were dropped. Later, Webb sued for alleged violations of his First Amendment and Fourth Amendment rights, but U.S. District Judge Marcia Morales Howard of the Middle District of Florida ruled that the arrest was “arguably justified under Florida’s obscenity law,” giving the officer and his supervisor “qualified immunity,” which means they are protected from the lawsuit.
This case underscores the ongoing debate in the U.S. over free speech and its boundaries, especially around expressions some might find offensive or derogatory. It also reflects how the First Amendment remains a contentious issue, with some insisting their right to free expression is under threat, while others argue for consideration that certain messages will have on the population.
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