For someone who was called “fatso” and had no intention of becoming a famous Hollywood star, this actress has certainly made a name for herself. After her breakout role, she garnered so much attention that she earned a special accolade.
This actress once revealed that her mother never wanted a daughter, and she grew up sheltered because of her strict father. Despite being bullied and called ugly, she eventually found peace and married the love of her life.
What was Her Childhood like?
In her memoir, “This Is Just My Face: Try Not To Stare,” the actress wrote about her childhood and mother, who she confirmed during an interview in 2017 still sang in subways.
The actress’ mother had been a teacher at her school until the fourth grade. Originally from the southern state of Georgia, her mom then took a sabbatical and started singing in the subway.
Her mother realized she could make more money performing than working for the Board of Education and decided to stick with it. The celebrity recalled her mother taking her and her brother to the subway, where she would sing for around five hours.
The actress remembered sitting on a bench within eyesight or earshot, doing her homework or reading books. Her mother performed at New York City’s Penn Station while she wandered around the station or visited a nearby bookstore.
At the bookstore, she was allowed to pull books off the shelves and read without paying. She suspected they permitted this because they knew her mother. Every now and then, she’d ask her mother for money to buy a new “Clue” book or the latest “Nancy Drew.”
Her mother always gave her the money, encouraging her to focus on reading. On the other hand, her father was very strict. He was from Senegal, studied architecture in France, and later became a cab driver when he moved to New York.
The actress shared that both her parents spanked her growing up, but she rejected labeling it as abuse, even when directly challenged. She emphasized that people often interpret others’ experiences through their own lens.
For her, spanking was a culturally rooted form of discipline common in communities of color, not an act of cruelty. She explained that her father’s upbringing in Africa, where safety and community were stable, shaped his beliefs about discipline.
After moving to Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn—a much more dangerous environment—he felt strong discipline was necessary to protect his children. Although it took years for father and daughter to fully understand each other, she never considered him abusive, especially seeing how relaxed he became with his younger children later.
She recalled a tender memory of her father carefully granting her small bits of independence, such as letting her fetch the mail while he watched closely from the doorway.
He would warn her against using the staircase, fearing for her safety, and waited to hear her shout from the elevator when she entered it out of his view. Ironically, her brother, who was only 11 months older, had far more independence. Unfortunately, part of her childhood also involved bullying.
Life’s Harsh Realities
When she turned six, the actress, who was raised in Harlem, started noticing what other children said about her. She spoke about the bullying she endured at that age regarding her weight, “You know, it’s, like, that weird thing where, like, I realize this thing about myself – I’m not magic, so now I have to pick you apart. And I have to pick myself apart.”
The star added, “And I think that was the age where people started calling me Fatso and you-this and you-that, blah, blah blah. That’s what helped me to notice.” In her book, she wrote about praying in the fourth grade for God to make her less sensitive because of how badly she was mocked.
At that time, her parents’ marriage was crumbling; they separated when she was 12, leaving her feeling “unhinged.” She recalled crying for hours and experiencing tightness in her chest when someone said something hurtful.
Panic attacks made breathing difficult, and she sometimes felt like she might die. Noticing that she could cry for up to three hours during school, she began praying about her sensitivity, unaware she was dealing with a medical condition.
The actress battled depression and anxiety unnoticed throughout elementary and junior high school. The issues persisted into high school, with the panic attacks intensifying during her commute to school.
After transferring schools, her struggles worsened, and she realized her issues were not just about being bullied for her weight. She eventually sought medical help and spoke about her struggles.
The actress on “Saturday Night Live” on April 24, 2010 | Source: Getty Images
Another painful memory was the rejection she felt from her mother. She recalled, “My mom always told me that she never wanted to have a daughter.” The star acknowledged how harsh that sounded but explained it prepared her for understanding that “being a Black woman was not going to be easy. That’s what my mom told me.”
Her mother believed having a daughter was hard because girls lead difficult lives. The actress said, “Those were the first lessons I got about being a Black woman. Today, as an adult, I would really like to erase that narrative from my life.” Despite these challenges, stardom found her.
The star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
Becoming an Actress and Getting Hate
By 2010, the actress had become a well-known celebrity, staying in luxurious hotel suites for interviews. That year, she was based in the UK for the London Film Festival. She confessed that she hadn’t planned for the life she now had.
Just two years earlier, at 24, she was working as a receptionist to support her psychology studies in college when she auditioned for a film on a whim. She had just enrolled for her third year when she auditioned. Her resume listed only three minor college theater roles, yet she secured the lead role in “Precious.”
Andy Samberg and his co-star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
She canceled her classes to star in the film, which became a breakout hit at Sundance in early 2009. The movie received three Golden Globe nominations, including Best Actress for Gabourey Sidibe, along with an Academy Award nomination.
After her nomination, a famous radio host went on air, claiming it was an anomaly. He alleged that Sidibe’s Hollywood peers were only “pretending” she was one of them and said she would never act again because of her weight.
Kristen Wiig and Gabourey Sidibe on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
The star shared that she had never dreamed of becoming an actress and felt overwhelmed by the film’s success. She explained that she has a neutral accent, stating, “I don’t have what we call the blackccent.”
However, despite no formal acting training, she recognized that her character would have an accent, so she deepened her voice to fit the role. Part of her Hollywood success came from her hustle and hard work.
Gabourey Sidibe at the “Our Idiot Brother” screening in New York on August 22, 2011 | Source: Getty Images
Despite two psychics predicting fame for her, Sidibe never believed she would gain the same recognition as her Hollywood idols. Today, she excels both in front of and behind the camera, although her journey also included a significant decision regarding her health.
Gabourey Sidibe at the “Win Win” screening party in New York on March 16, 2011 | Source: Getty Images
Going Under the Knife
In May 2016, after enduring bullying and struggling with weight loss, Sidibe underwent laparoscopic bariatric surgery. She made the decision after she and her brother were diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
The actress did the procedure because she didn’t want to worry about the effects that come with having diabetes. She explained, “I genuinely [would] worry all the time about losing my toes.”
Gabourey Sidibe at the 13th premiere and after party of the New York Film Festival Opening Night Gala on September 30, 2016 | Source: Getty Images
Sidibe expressed frustration that people assumed they cared more about her health than she did. “But I care more than anybody really knows. Of course I care. It’s been my body my whole life, and I didn’t want to be afraid anymore. And I’ve been feeling like that for some time,” she said.
Even after surgery, she continued to obsess over her body, eating habits, and weight. However, she learned to trust herself and embraced the mantra “faith over fear,” understanding that her decisions were personal.
Gabourey Sidibe at the 27th Annual Beat the Odds ceremony in Los Angeles on December 7, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
Initially, she weighed herself five or six times daily, tracking natural fluctuations. Eventually, she stopped that behavior and now weighs herself every two weeks or whenever she feels the need.
For the first 17 days post-surgery, Sidibe consumed only liquids and became depressed. However, by 2017, she was following meal plans, eating five times a day, cooking, consulting her nutritionist, and using apps to log her meals.
Gabourey Sidibe at the NAACP Image Awards in Los Angeles on February 11, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
She also became more active, using her Apple Watch to track her movements. The actress had tricycles both at her Los Angeles home and on set in Chicago, riding them during lunch breaks.
She revealed that she felt stronger, more mobile, and no longer feared losing her toes. After her breakout role in “Precious,” she was featured in People magazine’s World’s Most Beautiful issue, an honor she called “really dope!”
Gabourey Sidibe at the Variety Cannes Lions Studio at the Cannes Lions Festival in France on June 21, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
Still, Sidibe acknowledged that she likely would not have been included if she weren’t an actress. She pointed out that such lists typically feature celebrities, not regular people.
While she believes she’s beautiful—crediting her parents for her features—she often doubts whether others genuinely see her that way. “Other than my very obvious beautiful [expletive] features, like my cheekbones, my skin-tone? Get out of here. Gorgeous!” she said, affirming her self-worth with humor.
The actress admitted that she spent much of her life hearing she was ugly, both from outsiders and within her own community. Even after being named one of the Most Beautiful at 26, internalizing that recognition was difficult.
Decades of negative conditioning weren’t easily undone, even by career success. Though she now believes in her own beauty, she remains skeptical of outside praise.
“Yeah, I’m beautiful, but I’m not convinced that you’re convinced of that,” she said. Sidibe described her beauty as something deeply personal: “My beauty is like my own secret in this way.” She explained that maintaining confidence is a daily practice, not a permanent achievement.
Confidence, for her, is like applying lipstick—it needs daily renewal. High heels, a good hairstyle, intelligence, friends, and humor all contribute to her sense of self-worth. For Sidibe, confidence isn’t automatic; it’s something she cultivates consciously. Despite her size, she enjoys photo shoots and embraces her body.
Accepting Herself and Fighting for Others
Sidibe once said about photo shoots, “I feel like a model. It justifies everyone in my life who told me I wouldn’t be anything until I lost weight.” It also justified the little girl who cried, thinking she didn’t belong in front of a camera.
However, reaching that confidence took time, only happening around age 21. She recalled becoming tired of letting others define her worth. Lee Daniels, the director of “Precious,” had high praise for her.
He said, “[Gabby] may be in a state of denial or on a higher plane than the rest of us, but either way, she breaks your heart in the movie.” Responding to his comment, she stated, “I was like, ‘What the hell? I’m in denial?’ No, I know what I look like. I’m very much aware.”
When asked where her confidence came from, she explained, “It came from me.” She added, “One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl.”
Sidibe said what helps her is wearing the colors she loves and the makeup that makes her feel pretty. Advising others struggling with self-image, she said, “It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple, it’s your home, and you must decorate it.”
In 2021, she partnered with the Child Mind Institute and its May Mental Health Awareness campaign. Her own struggles with depression inspired her to work alongside the nonprofit organization to launch Getting Better Together.
The star revealed that she was 19 or 20 when she was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. In a video, the actress shared, “I remember having almost no one, really, to turn to. I couldn’t talk about it with my parents, or my friends or my friend’s parents. Everyone would tell me I was too young, too young to feel sad all the time or too young to feel stressed out.”
She explained how people around her tried to convince her that she wasn’t feeling what she felt. Fortunately, her instincts, which told her something was wrong, were louder, and she managed to save herself.
However, she recognized that not everyone had the ability to do the same or even to recognize that they needed help. That realization inspired her to start the Getting Better Together initiative. She urged, “If you or a young person you know is struggling, please go to ChildMind.org for resources and help.” Since then, she’s gotten married and welcomed children.
Celebrating Love and Growth
Gabourey Sidibe has since married Brandon Frankel, and together they share two children. In April 2025, the couple uploaded various images of their twins, Cooper and Maya, as they celebrated their first birthday.
The proud parents reflected on a full year filled with love and laughter. They described the twins as hilarious, sweet, and remarkably well-behaved. From walking and talking to dancing, hugging, and even demanding songs or calling every animal “CAT!”, the little ones have blossomed into vibrant mini humans.
Their parents expressed feeling honored to watch them grow and excited for all the learning and discovery ahead.
“We LOVE being your parents—the best is yet to come!” they wrote in a heartfelt celebration of the milestone.
The month before, the couple celebrated their wedding anniversary with help from Brides magazine.
For their fourth anniversary, they graced the magazine’s cover in 2022, and the publication honored them by inviting readers to revisit their love story through a special link in their bio.
I Left My Newborn with My Husband for a Work Trip, He Began Acting Weird When I Returned – His Reason Shocked Me
I left my newborn with my husband during a medical conference, but when I returned, his behavior was off — withdrawn, and overwhelmed. As the tension between us escalated, I feared our marriage might collapse under the weight of unfulfilled promises and the strain of new parenthood.
I became a neurologist because my work gave me purpose. I’d been a troubled teen, so dedicating my life to something greater than myself seemed like a redemption arc.
Rachel and James on their wedding day, full of hopes and dreams | Source: Pexels
And I found fulfillment in helping patients. But it wasn’t just about the work; it was about the life I built around it — a life with James. We’ve been married for four years. He worked in marketing and made significantly less money than me, but it never mattered.
James and I had always agreed on one thing — children were not a priority. I preferred adoption if we were going down that road. Biological children? I was ambivalent at best.
James and his best friend’s baby boy, sparking a change in heart | Source: Pexels
But then, his best friend had a baby boy, and everything changed. James started talking about having a kid of our own. I wasn’t convinced, but then, life decided for us when, soon after, I found out I was pregnant.
“So, what do we do?” I had asked, looking at James.
“Let’s keep it. We’ll make it work,” he said, squeezing my hand.
We agreed he would quit his job to stay home with our daughter, Lily, until she was old enough for preschool. My work was my life, and I had no desire to become a housewife.
Rachel and James holding baby Lily | Source: Pexels
Lily was born, and soon, my maternity leave was up. I had a medical conference out of state and left James alone with Lily for the weekend. He assured me he’d handle it.
“Call me if you need anything,” I told him before leaving.
“Don’t worry, Rachel. We’ll be fine,” he smiled, holding Lily.
***
When I returned, something was off. James was withdrawn, not his usual upbeat self.
“Hey, how was the conference?” he asked, but his eyes didn’t meet mine.
James looking weary while holding Lily | Source: Midjourney
“Good. What’s going on here? You seem… different.”
He shrugged, focusing on Lily in his arms. “Nothing. Just tired, I guess.”
“Tired?” I probed. “James, what’s wrong?”
He looked at me then, eyes filled with something I couldn’t place. “I… I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Do what?” I asked, though I already feared the answer.
“This. Stay home with Lily. I feel trapped, Rachel. Overwhelmed.”
His words hit me like a punch to the gut. “You said you could handle it. You agreed to this!”
Rachel and James having a heated discussion in the living room | Source: Pexels
“I know, but it’s harder than I thought. I’m not cut out for this.”
“So, what are you suggesting? That I give up my career? Extend my maternity leave?”
“Maybe we could consider daycare,” he said softly.
“Daycare? We agreed!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “I made sacrifices, James. My career —”
“And what about my sacrifices? I quit my job for this. I’m asking for help, Rachel.”
“Help? This isn’t what we planned. We had an agreement!” My voice rose, frustration boiling over. At that moment, Lily started crying, and James looked like he might break.
Baby Lily crying in the background | Source: Pexels
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, tears welling up. “I just need help.”
I stared at him, feeling betrayed. The man I relied on was crumbling, and our agreement seemed to be falling apart. I needed time to think, to process.
But Lily’s cries demanded attention, and for now, all I could do was hold her close, feeling the weight of the sacrifices we both had made.
Rachel cuddling Lily | Source: Pexels
The next few days were tense. James avoided talking about it, burying himself in household chores and baby duties. I buried myself in work, leaving early and coming home late. We were living in the same house but miles apart.
One evening, after putting Lily to bed, I sat down next to James on the couch. “We need to talk.”
He sighed, not looking away from the TV. “Yeah, I know.”
“This isn’t working, James. We’re both miserable.”
James and Rachel sitting at a distance on the sofa | Source: Midjourney
“I’m doing my best, Rachel,” he snapped. “I never said this would be easy.”
“But you promised. You said you’d stay home with Lily. Now you’re backing out?”
“I’m not backing out! I just —” He ran a hand through his hair, exasperated. “I didn’t realize how hard it would be. I feel trapped.”
I felt a surge of anger. “So what? You think I don’t feel trapped sometimes? You think I wanted to go back to work so soon?”
James pacing the living room in frustration | Source: Midjourney
“You have a choice, Rachel. You could stay home.”
“And throw away everything I’ve worked for? No. We made a plan.”
He stood up, pacing the room. “Maybe the plan was wrong. Maybe we rushed into this.”
“Rushed into this?” I echoed, incredulous. “You were the one who wanted a baby, remember? I never would have agreed to have Lily if I knew you’d change your mind.”
His face fell, and he looked genuinely hurt. “Do you regret having her?”
Rachel and James face to face, emotions running high | Source: Midjourney
I paused, taken aback. “No, I don’t. But I regret that we’re failing her because we can’t get our act together.”
“So, what are you saying? Divorce?” His voice was barely a whisper.
“I don’t know, James. But something has to change.”
***
The next day, I took matters into my own hands. Before he could say anything, I emerged from the kitchen, holding a glass of water. “Meet Claire,” I said calmly. “She’s our new nanny.”
His face twisted in confusion and anger. “What? A nanny? We can’t afford that!”
Claire, the new nanny, sitting down with James and Rachel | Source: Midjourney
I handed the glass of water to Claire and gestured for her to sit down. “Actually, we can. You’ll be going back to work, and working from home from now on. All your earnings will go towards paying Claire. She’ll help during the day so you can focus on your work.”
His face turned red with anger. “This is insane! You can’t just decide this without talking to me!”
I stepped closer, my voice firm but controlled. “We talked about this at the very beginning. You made a promise. You agreed to stay home and take care of our daughter. If you can’t do that, then we need to discuss other options.”
Rachel standing firm, explaining the need for a nanny | Source: Midjourney
He looked at me, bewildered. “Other options? What do you mean?”
“I mean, we can get a divorce,” I said plainly. “You’ll be a single dad, and I’ll pay child support. But you can’t make me take on the responsibility that you agreed to handle. I’ve worked too hard to get where I am, and I won’t let you derail my career.”
He sank onto the couch, his head in his hands. “I don’t want a divorce. I just… I didn’t realize how hard it would be.”
James collapsing on the couch, exhausted | Source: Pexels
I softened my tone slightly. “I understand it’s hard. That’s why Claire is here to help. But you need to step up. Our daughter needs both of us to be strong for her.”
Claire started the following Monday. She was a godsend. James was initially resistant, but as days went by, he began to appreciate her help. The house was calmer, and for the first time in weeks, James seemed more at ease.
One evening, as I watched James feeding Lily with a smile, I felt a flicker of hope. Maybe we could make this work after all.
James holding Lily with a newfound sense of ease and a smile | Source: Midjourney
“I’m sorry,” he said one night, as we lay in bed. “I should’ve been more supportive.”
“I’m sorry too,” I replied. “I should’ve listened to you more.”
“Claire’s great with Lily,” he admitted. “It’s making a difference.”
“I’m glad,” I said, squeezing his hand. “We’ll get through this, babe. We have to.”
Rachel and James having a heart-to-heart in the bedroom | Source: Pexels
Slowly, things began to improve. With Claire’s assistance, James adjusted to his new role. He started to bond with Lily, gaining confidence as he navigated the challenges of childcare. He picked up some freelance marketing work from home, which eased the financial strain.
As for me, I threw myself back into my practice, balancing my demanding career with my family responsibilities. It wasn’t easy, but knowing that James had the support he needed made it bearable.
One night, after Lily was asleep, James and I sat on the porch, enjoying a rare moment of peace. “We’re getting there,” he said, wrapping an arm around me.
Rachel and James sitting together on the porch | Source: Midjourney
“Yeah, we are,” I agreed, leaning into him.
“I never realized how hard this would be,” he admitted. “But I’m glad we’re doing it together.”
“Me too,” I said. “I love you, James.”
“I love you too. And I love Lily. We’ll make this work.”
We sat in silence, watching the stars, feeling a sense of renewed commitment. We had a long road ahead, but we were stronger together. And for the first time in a long while, I believed we could face anything as long as we had each other.
Rachel and James watching the stars, feeling a renewed sense of hope and commitment | Source: Midjourney
To anyone out there who feels like their relationship is in trouble, sometimes, all it takes is a little trust and a lot of love to see the way through.
What would you have done? If you enjoyed this story, here’s another one for you about a woman whose father demanded she move out to make room for a new baby.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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