In blended families, it’s common for parents to have differing views on how to handle their children. Colleen’s husband continues to provide financial support to his 19-year-old daughter, who is pregnant and already a mother of two. Meanwhile, Colleen feels that her stepdaughter should not be coddled and needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions. This clash in parenting styles led to a situation that went terribly wrong, and Colleen has shared her story with us.
Here is Colleen’s letter:
Hi Colleen! Thank you for sharing your story with us. We’ve prepared 4 pieces of advice that we believe can help you.
Seek mediation or couples counseling.
Given the emotional and financial conflicts, involving a neutral third party could help. A mediator or counselor can facilitate a discussion between you and your husband to address the underlying issues.
This professional might help clarify each other’s perspectives, restore communication, and find a resolution that acknowledges both your concerns and your husband’s responsibilities.
Reevaluate financial decisions and transparency.
Consider discussing the financial decisions and future planning openly with your husband. Since you drained the shared savings account without his consent, it’s crucial to establish a clear, mutually agreed-upon approach to handling finances moving forward.
This might involve setting up separate accounts for personal expenditures and jointly managed accounts for shared expenses, ensuring that both parties are informed and agree on financial decisions.
Engage in a direct conversation with your stepdaughter.
It may be beneficial to address the situation directly with your stepdaughter. An honest conversation about her expectations and how her actions have impacted your relationship with her father could help clear misunderstandings.
Express your intentions and concerns, and listen to her perspective to potentially reach a better understanding and find common ground.
Consider moving out temporarily for reflection.
If the tension remains high and communication isn’t improving, temporarily moving out might provide space for both you and your husband to reflect on the situation. This physical distance could give you time to think about your relationship and future steps without the constant emotional strain.
Use this time to assess what you both need and whether there’s a path forward that respects both your needs and your husband’s.
Another stepmom dealing with tension is Claudia. When her 32-year-old stepdaughter lost her job and decided to move back in with her father, Claudia insisted that she pay rent. This decision led to an unexpected turn of events, and she reached out to us for advice. Read her story here.
Lisa Whelchel, ‘Facts of Life’ actress, chose her Christian morals over her Hollywood career
Lisa, now 60, thankfully felt supported and hear by the writers and creators of the show, explaining, “I’m sure there were some parts that I wasn’t offered, but that’s OK. I don’t feel like I had any backlash because of it.”
This was not the only time the actress made a choice between fame and faith. She famously turned down the role of Rachel on “Friends,” feeling it would deal too often with sexual topics.
“I don’t regret not taking that opportunity. My kids, on the other hand… I remember my daughter once said, ‘Are you telling me that [Jennifer Aniston’s ex] Brad Pitt could have been my father?”
The star also has been friends with many other like-minded stars, including late “Happy Days” star Erin Moran.
Moran even claimed that Whelchel is the one to have helped her find Jesus Christ after the two met for the NBC made-for-T.V. movie “Twirl”.
Lisa herself found God by chance when she was just 10. Dressed in their only nice dresses, she and a friend decided to go somewhere fun in their special clothes. They wound up at a neighborhood church.
Whelchel realized that she could get free donuts and orange juice every week if she attended Sunday school. Over time, of course, it became more than that.
“Every time I walked through those church doors, it felt like my heart had found its home.”
It’s clear that the actresses’s faith has led her on the right path throughout her career and family life. In addition to her fulfilling marriage with Pete, Lisa finds immense joy in her children and three grandchildren.
According to her, they hold the utmost importance in her life, reflecting the deep love and significance she places on her role as a parent. She frequently shares adorable moments of her grandchildren on Instagram, showcasing her immense pride in them and the deep affection she holds for them.
”Just to know your children are solid, have good hearts, and have found spouses who are amazing people who love them — there is no greater joy,” she says.
We are certainly impressed that she was able to be so forthright in her faith at so young an age.
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