The topic of what constitutes a lasting and prosperous marriage has been a subject of ongoing discussion. While effective communication is often considered a crucial factor, a Japanese couple defied expectations by maintaining a 20-year marriage without saying a word. The surprising rationale behind their silent union adds an intriguing twist to their story.
A Japanese husband took the “silent treatment” to a whole new level.
The silent treatment entails the refusal to participate in verbal communication when someone is trying to engage and elicit a response. It is not unusual to observe a pause in communication following an argument.
However, can you imagine the difficulty of being married to a spouse who persistently avoids communication? This was the situation for a couple from the Nara region in Japan. Otou Katayama and his wife Yumi faced a prolonged two-decade rough patch in their relationship.
For decades, the man refrained from speaking to his wife, even though they lived under the same roof.
Otou Katayama continued to reside with his children and wife. Despite Yumi Katayama’s attempts to initiate conversations with her husband, she consistently faced a dearth of genuine responses. Instead, Otou communicated approval or disapproval through non-verbal cues, relying on grunts and nods.
Surprisingly, the idea of seeking a divorce or separation never crossed the wife’s mind. The couple even extended their family by welcoming a third child, all while Otou Katayama maintained his silent demeanor towards his wife.
The reason behind Katayama’s silence is even more surprising.
Years later, the father and husband elucidated the reasons behind imposing a 20-year silent treatment on his wife. Katayama believed he was lacking the attention he desired from his wife, feeling that her care was predominantly focused on their children.
Initially, he merely sulked about the situation, but over time, this evolved into a sense of jealousy toward his kids and his wife, who exhibited deep involvement in the upbringing of their offspring—perhaps a level of involvement that exceeded Katayama’s preferences.
Thanks to a TV show, husband and wife finally exchanged words after 20 years.
After two decades of silence, the adult children of the Japanese couple decided to take matters into their own hands. They approached a TV show, seeking assistance in resolving the longstanding conflict between their parents. TV Hokkaido stepped in to help the children witness Katayama speaking to his wife for the first time.
The children confessed that they couldn’t recall ever hearing a conversation between their parents. TV Hokkaido orchestrated a meeting between Otou and Yumi at a park, the same location as their first date many years ago. Unbeknownst to the spouses, their children, along with the audience, observed the emotional moment unfolding before their eyes.
After some initial hesitation, Otou Katayama finally mustered the courage to speak a few words to his wife, Yumi. In that moment, the husband felt a heightened sense of remorse and understanding regarding the situation. Katayama conveyed to his wife that he was aware of the pain and hardship his prolonged silence had caused her. Despite his regret, he also expressed gratitude to Yumi for standing by him throughout two decades of his silent period, which ultimately came to an end on that day.
Undoubtedly, the relationship between Otou and Yumi is distinctive, much like that of the couple from our previous article who, despite the woman’s disability and the criticism they faced, embarked on the journey of starting a family and became parents.
Demanding Parents Expect Nanny to Pay $1000 for Vacation Flights – Their Harsh Reality Check
“Jane, we need to talk about the vacation.”
I nodded, curious.
We had been home for two days now. Back from our trip to the seaside, staying in a luxurious resort. It was almost the break I needed, minus the fact that I had the Smiths’ three children, and their friends, the Johnsons’ two sons to care for as well.
I was just doing my job in a fancier location.
“Of course,” I said. “It was a lovely trip. Thank you again for inviting me.”
“Yes, well,” Mrs. Smith started. “We need to discuss the plane tickets. When will you be able to return the $1000?”
I blinked. I was sure that I had misheard her.
“Sorry, $1000? For the tickets? What?”
“Yes, for the tickets, Jane,” she spoke slowly as if I was stupid. “We spent a lot on them, and we thought you’d be grateful enough to pay us back.”
My heart raced. I didn’t have that kind of money to spare. I was their full-time nanny, with a mother to care for at home.
“But you told me that everything was sorted. You said, ‘Don’t worry about it, Jane. We’ve got it all covered.’”
Mrs. Smith’s expression hardened. Mr. Smith gazed at me.
“That was before the Johnsons refused to sign a business deal with Craig. That was the entire purpose of the holiday. Mr. Smith and I needed to woo them. So, there’s no need to seem generous now, Jane. You have exactly one week to return the money, or it will be taken from your pay.”
I was stunned. The room felt like it was spinning.
“But… I can’t afford that, Mrs. Smith,” I admitted. “Most of my salary goes to the rent at home and my mother’s medication. I can’t take that away from her. And you didn’t mention anything about paying you back!”
“That’s not our problem, Jane. One week,” Mr. Smith reiterated, reaching for a croissant from the tea tray left for Mrs. Smith. With a wave of his hand, he signaled the end of the discussion.
That night, I sat in my tiny room a few feet away from the Smiths’ house. I was seething. How could they do this? I needed a plan, and I needed it fast.
Then it hit me: the Smiths cared deeply about their social standing and their reputation.
“Of course, that’s all they care about,” I muttered to myself as I brushed my teeth before bed. “But I can use that to my advantage.”
The next day, after I dropped the kids off at school, I created a fake email account. I drafted a polite but detailed message about my experience, making sure to be clear without naming any names.
But there were enough telltale signs pointing to the Smiths, from their cars to the kids, to the gold facial appointments that Mrs. Smith bragged about.
Thereafter, I sent it to the key people in their social circle, including the other influential families that the Smiths wanted to be in league with.
“I just don’t understand what they want from us,” I overheard Mrs. Smith say into the phone later that day. “Eva asked me if everything is true, but I don’t know what she’s talking about.”
A few days later, the gossip started spreading. The Smiths’ dirty little secret on how they treated “their staff” was out, and naturally, their reputation took a hit.
Mrs. Smith called in a masseuse to soothe her muscles.
“Just let them into the spa when they arrive, Jane,” she said. “I need all the help I can get.”
Later that day, when I went to pick the kids up from school, the other nannies were hanging about, waiting for the bell to ring.
“Did you read the email about the Smiths?” one of the nannies said. “Jane, are they really like that?”
I nodded.
“They’re good parents, but they’re horrible people,” I admitted, not wanting to give away that I was the person who sent out the email.
“How long will you work for them?” another asked me. “I couldn’t live or work under those circumstances. Rich people need to learn that respect for them is earned, too.”
I smiled.
The nannies went back and forth as we waited. And through their chatter, I discovered something interesting about Mrs. Smith.
Turns out that my employer had a habit of “borrowing” items from her friends and never returning them.
“An entire Gucci handbag, Jane,” Mina said. “Mrs. Smith asked my ma’am if she could borrow it for a fundraising gala two months ago.”
“That’s ridiculous!” I said, shocked. “I didn’t know that she was capable of that sort of thing. But she doesn’t like me getting too close to her things anyway.”
A few days later, Mrs. Smith held one of her ladies’ luncheons. It was a monthly event that she loved hosting, but this time it was only two weeks into the month.
“I need this to go well, Jane,” she said as I cut fruit up for the kids. “So, you need to attend it. The kids will be at school. Everything will be catered for. Just walk around and talk to the women. Make us seem human.”
I knew that she was puzzling. She must have heard more than enough through the grapevine.
During the event, I walked around as requested of me. But I wasn’t going to let this opportunity slip. And I had nothing to lose. The Smiths were probably going to fire me at the end of the week when I couldn’t make the $1000.
“We’ll deal with it, darling,” my mother coughed into the phone when I told her the truth of the matter.
At the luncheon, I walked around, casually mentioning to the ladies how much I admired Mrs. Smith’s collection, making sure that I spoke to Eva, Mina’s employer.
“Mrs. Smith has a stunning handbag similar to yours,” I said. “Gucci. Did she lend you this one? She’s always telling me that she lends her things out because she has so much.”
Eva looked at me over the top of her champagne glass.
“Is that so, Jane?” she asked, her eyes narrowing.
Whispers started circulating. By the end of the luncheon, Mrs. Smith’s reputation for borrowing without returning was the hot topic.
The next morning, her friends began asking for their things back.
Mrs. Smith was mortified.
During dinner the next night, Mr. Smith called me to the table, asking me to join them.
“Thank you, but I usually wait for Ivy and Melanie to eat,” I said politely, mentioning the chef and her helper.
“No, sit with us,” he insisted.
I obliged.
Despite his tone, I hoped that maybe he was going to tell me that the money could be forgotten. And that everything would return as normal.
“It has come to my attention that an anonymous email has gone out,” he said, cutting into his steak.
“A disgusting email,” Mrs. Smith added, taking a long sip of her wine.
“Did you have anything to do with it?” he asked me, his eyes trying to coax a confession out of me.
I shook my head, looking down at my plate.
“Then that settles it,” he said, knowingly. “You’re dismissed. You can pack up and get out tomorrow.”
I did exactly as I was told and moved back home. A week later, Mrs. Johnson called me.
“Jane, can you come over for tea?” she asked warmly.
“Of course, Mrs. Johnson,” I replied, curious about the nature of the invitation.
As we sat in her luxurious living room, she looked at me with genuine concern.
“I heard about what the Smiths did to you. It’s disgraceful.”
I nodded, trying to keep my composure.
“Well,” she continued. “We’ve decided to cut ties with the Smiths entirely. And we’d like to offer you a job. Better pay, better working conditions. We could use someone like you for our kids.”
I was stunned.
“Of course!” I exclaimed. I needed the job desperately.
“You’ve earned it,” she smiled. “The boys loved having you watch them during the holiday. And somehow, you got Jonathan to eat his peas!”
I don’t know how the Smiths reacted to me working for the Johnsons, but I hoped that they felt betrayed.
What would you have done?
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