A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
This Girl Became a Star – The ‘Product of 13 Divorces,’ Her Dad Left Her Mom for 17-Year-Old Actress
Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh were one of the biggest celebrity couples of the ’60s. However, their marriage is often remembered for the bitterness and hatred that plagued their final years together.
Hollywood is a community of glamor and style. A huge part of the flamboyant culture of the movie industry is the romance between some of its top stars.
However, Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh were the true Jack and Rose of the ’60s. The couple defied all odds to be together, including staking their careers, but the end was far from perfect, and they soon got a divorce.
GIVING BIRTH TO JAMIE LEE CURTIS WAS A FINAL ATTEMPT AT PEACE
Tony Curtis was famous for his flamboyance as much as his talent. Tony was among the celebrities who characterized what it meant to be a superstar actor in a stylish and charming manner.
Tony, like other A-listers, has been associated with a number of women during his life and has had multiple marriages, but each was a failure. However, his romance with Leigh was one of the most remarkable things in his life.
The attractive couple was the center of attention throughout their time together, and their relationship even flowed over into their professional lives, as they appeared in five movies together.
Leigh’s fame was already established when she met her future husband, Tony, at a publicity party in the 1950s. It was a few years after her breakthrough role in the late ’40s. She was beautiful and had a reputation for her pitch in movies.
The actress was more popular than Tony by the time they met. She had appeared in successful movies such as “The Romance of Rosy Ridge” and “Little Women.” but Tony was yet to have his big break.
Things progressed quickly for the couple, and they fell in love. Despite the many obstacles they faced, the couple tied the knot, and many expected things to last forever, but things went sour as quickly as they began.
After welcoming their first child, Kelly, the couple realized their love had lost its spark. Later on, they welcomed their daughter Jamie in a bid to save what was left of their union. Jamie later described herself as a “save-the-marriage baby.” However, her parents still went on to divorce despite her arrival.
Speaking of her experience with her embattled parents, Jamie said, “By the time I came along… my parents’ bond had deteriorated precipitously as their stardom grew. And like any other save-the-marriage baby, I failed.” Tony filed for divorce in 1962. Leaving his family divided.
TONY AND LEIGH’S STORY
Leigh had always had the affection of both fans and co-stars. By the time she met Tony, she was already in league with the high powers of Hollywood. Hollywood tycoon Howard Huges was one of the names backing her career. Hughes was romantically interested in Leigh, but she did not seem to share in his interest.
Her heart was already given to Tony. Both stars were seriously in love with each other and enjoyed an intense physical relationship. The duo was willing to cross any hurdle that would fight their love, even if it meant despising the people who backed their career.
Like Leigh, Tony’s love for the actress was equally tested by Universal’s huge offer of ten thousand dollars to wed co-star Piper Laurie. The union was seen as a much-needed boost for his career. However, money could not take him away from his heartthrob.
Tony became a familiar figure on most of Leigh’s film sets, and their relationship soon became public news. Universal grew more concerned over Tony’s affair with a rival actress and hoped he would side with them by marrying Laurie.
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