A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
Remembering Bill Hayes, actor and long-time TV star
Bill Hayes, a pivotal figure of day-time television passed away at the age of 98.
Hayes was probably best known for his portrayal of Doug Williams on Days of Our Lives since 1970, appearing in over 2,100 episodes of the show. The role of the former con artist-turned-lounge singer became one of the longest-running characters in the show’s history.
Hayes was born in Harvey, Illinois, in 1925. Before becoming an actor, he started a career of a musician and a performer, reaching a Billboard chart-topping hit with The Ballad of Davy Crockett in 1955.
In 1953, Hayes had his Broadway debut in Me and Juliet and over the course of a decade he appeared in a number of productions.
By 1970, Hayes, a divorced father of five, was hoping to land a role closer to home when he joined the cast of Days of Our Lives, a decision that would define his career and endear him to millions of viewers.
It was on set that he met the great love of his life, actress Susan Seaforth, who played Julie Williams. Their on-screen chemistry translated into real life and the two tied the knot in 1974. They stayed together until Hayes’ passing.
Speaking of the instant connection they felt when they laid eyes on each other, Seaforth once said, “I’d seen enough to know that he was special.” Others could also see their unexplained connection. “We had a scene together shortly after meeting, and the head writer saw something going on between the two of us, just two people looking at each other, and he threw out the other plot lines he had for our characters,” she added.
Hayes and Seaforth Hayes were both honored with Lifetime Achievement Awards at the 2018 Daytime Emmys for their enduring contributions to television. The couple’s acceptance speech was heartfelt, with Bill expressing gratitude for the fans who considered them part of their own lives.
Honoring Hayes, a representative for the Peacock series told The Times in a statement, “It is with a heavy heart that we share the passing of our beloved Bill Hayes. One of the longest running characters on ‘Days of our Lives,’ Bill originated the role of Doug Williams in 1970 and portrayed him continuously throughout his life. He and his wife, Susan Seaforth Hayes, remained the foundation of the Williams-Horton family spanning more than 50 years.”
“I have known Bill for most of my life and he embodied the heart and soul of ‘Days of Our Lives,’” executive producer Ken Corday said in a statement. “Although we are grieving and will miss him, Bill’s indelible legacy will live on in our hearts and the stories we tell, both on and off the screen.”
In addition to his iconic role on Days of Our Lives, Bill Hayes had other notable television appearances, including roles in Matlock and Frasier. During the 1950s and 60s, he featured in TV adaptations of popular musicals such as Kiss Me, Kate and Once Upon a Mattress. He also portrayed John Brooks in the 1958 TV movie Little Women.
The cause of Hayes’ death hasn’t been disclosed with the public.
Rest in peace, legend.
Leave a Reply