Ryder’s 18th birthday should have been a memorable day, but his father’s absence left him feeling disappointed. Instead of celebrating with his son, his father chose to go on a fishing trip with friends, leaving Ryder devastated and questioning their relationship.
Growing up, Ryder’s life was normal until his parents started arguing when he was seven. By eight, his father was no longer living at home. Ryder vividly remembers his mother explaining the divorce, reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault. After the split, his mom worked hard as an elementary school teacher to provide for him, while his dad became more of a distant figure, often preoccupied with hobbies and weekends spent fishing.
As Ryder approached his 18th birthday, he hoped his father would finally prioritize him. He planned a small party with his mom and friends and even sent a message to his dad. When his father responded with: “I’ll try to be there”, Ryder felt a flicker of hope. However, on the big day, despite all the decorations and a cake baked by his mom, his father didn’t show up.
After waiting hours without any contact from his dad, Ryder called him, only to learn that he was still on the lake, seemingly indifferent to his son’s special day. Ryder felt crushed and hid in his room until his mom found him. He struggled to mask his disappointment, feeling invisible and unimportant.
A week later, his father called, offering to give Ryder a gift. Despite his anger, Ryder agreed to visit. When he arrived, his dad handed him a shiny fishing rod, a gift that felt more like a reminder of his absence than a thoughtful present. Ryder felt betrayed, realizing that his father would never truly prioritize him. When his dad invited him to join a fishing trip with friends, Ryder politely declined, knowing deep down that their relationship would never change.
As he left, holding the fishing rod, Ryder felt a shift within himself. He recognized he didn’t need to chase after someone who didn’t want to be there for him. In the months that followed, he focused on the people who truly cared—his mom and friends. He threw himself into music, practicing the guitar and helping his mom around the house to show his appreciation.
One evening, while washing dishes, his mom asked if he had heard from his father. Ryder shook his head, feeling at peace with his decision to stop waiting. His mom expressed sadness about their relationship, but Ryder reassured her that having her support was more than enough.
Over time, Ryder learned that his self-worth wasn’t dependent on his father’s attention. His experiences taught him an important lesson: sometimes, people won’t fulfill your expectations, and that’s okay. The fishing rod remains in his closet as a reminder not of what he lost, but of what he gained: self-respect, resilience, and the ability to move on from what he couldn’t change.
There’s One Method of Healing Trauma That Prince Harry Uses, and Here’s How to Practice It
Prince Harry recently opened up about his journey with post-traumatic stress disorder following the loss of his mother, Princess Diana. In a candid discussion, he revealed his exploration of a groundbreaking therapy that helped him.
The therapy is called eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) to address the debilitating effects of his anxiety attacks. This revelation offers a glimpse into the royal’s personal struggles and his proactive approach towards mental health care, shedding light on the significance of seeking innovative treatments of traumas.
In a video, Prince Harry can be seen undergoing EMDR therapy, where he taps his shoulders and moves his eyes rapidly. This therapy is relatively new and is used to treat PTSD. Prince Harry shared that he decided to try EMDR to deal with severe anxiety attacks he was experiencing.
Prince Harry mentioned that he was open to trying EMDR because of the therapy and work he had done over the years.
During a therapy session with UK-based psychotherapist Sanja Oakley, Prince Harry demonstrated how EMDR helped him feel better about returning home. He described feeling scared and helpless before, but the therapy helped him cope with those feelings.
Prince Harry’s openness about his experience with EMDR therapy sheds light on alternative treatments for post-traumatic disorder and mental health struggles. It shows that seeking help and trying different therapies can make a difference in managing mental health conditions.
EMDR is a therapy made in 1987 to help with emotional traumas. It’s a structured therapy where you think about a tough memory while moving your eyes back and forth. This helps lessen the strong feelings tied to the memory.
EMDR works on a theory called Adaptive Information Processing (AIP). It says that trauma sticks around because it hasn’t been dealt with properly. So, when something reminds you of the trauma, those memories can come back strongly.
Unlike other therapies that try to lessen your reaction to trauma, EMDR tries to change how your brain stores those tough memories. Sometimes, instead of eye movements, you might listen to alternating tones. Usually, EMDR happens once or twice a week for about six to 12 sessions. But it can vary depending on the person.
Benefits of EMDR therapy
- EMDR is a structured therapy and usually needs fewer sessions than ongoing therapies.
- You don’t have to keep going back to the tough memory for a long time.
- You don’t have to talk a lot about what happened to you.
- There’s no homework to do.
- EMDR doesn’t try to change your thoughts and beliefs.
Disadvantages of EMDR therapy
- While EMDR is known to help with PTSD, it hasn’t been studied as much for other mood or mental health problems.
- If you’re avoiding talking about a tough event, EMDR might not be the best choice. Other types of talk therapy might work better.
- EMDR can sometimes make you feel worse at the start of treatment. The person who created EMDR warns that this could be dangerous for people who have gone through really tough things.
The process of EMDR
EMDR is a structured process with eight phases, each aimed at helping you deal with traumatic memories:
- History taking: Discuss your past with the therapist to identify which memories to focus on.
- Preparation: Learn about EMDR and how the therapist will use bilateral stimulation.
- Assessment: Identify your negative and positive beliefs related to the trauma.
- Desensitization: Use bilateral stimulation while recalling the memory.
- Installation: Focus on positive beliefs while processing the memory.
- Body scan: Talk about how you feel emotionally and physically.
- Closure: Prepare for what may happen between sessions.
- Reevaluation: Assess your progress and decide if more sessions are needed.
As you go through EMDR, you may start feeling less overwhelmed by the trauma. It’s normal for other painful memories to surface, indicating that suppressed memories are being processed.
When grappling with deep emotional traumas, it’s crucial to seek out specialists who can provide the appropriate form of treatment tailored to your needs. Whether it’s EMDR therapy or other therapeutic approaches, finding the right professional can make a significant difference in your healing journey.
Preview photo credit Good Morning America / YouTube
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