Ryder’s 18th birthday should have been a milestone celebration, but the absence of his father left him feeling deeply disappointed. Learning that his dad chose a fishing trip with friends over spending time with him only added to his heartbreak. However, what happened next led Ryder to see things in a new light. Let me introduce myself—I’m Ryder, and I recently turned 18. Before I dive into the story of my birthday, let me share a bit about my life. Things were pretty normal until I turned seven. That’s when the arguments between my mom and dad began. I didn’t fully understand what was happening at the time, but I could sense the tension. By the time I was eight, my dad was gone. I remember clearly the day my mom sat me down and explained, “Ryder, sweetie, your father won’t be living with us anymore. But you can still see him whenever you want, okay?”My heart skipped a beat.
“But why, Mom? Did I do something wrong?” Mom’s eyes welled up with tears, but she smiled gently. “Oh, no, honey. You didn’t do anything wrong. This isn’t your fault at all.” “Then why is Dad leaving?” I asked, desperate for answers. She took a deep breath. “Well, sometimes grown-ups just can’t live together anymore. Your dad and I tried really hard to make things work, but sometimes things just don’t turn out the way we hope.” “Can’t you try harder?” I pleaded, not ready to accept the reality. She pulled me into a hug. “We did try, Ryder. For a long time. But sometimes, the kindest thing we can do is to live apart. Your dad and I will both always love you, and that won’t ever change. We just won’t be living in the same house anymore.” And just like that, my parents were divorced. After the divorce, Mom took a job as an elementary school teacher, working tirelessly to give me a good life. I’ll always be grateful for that. But my dad? He became like a ghost in my life—always busy with work, friends, and his hobbies, especially fishing. Every weekend, he’d vanish with his buddies to go fishing, even when Mom reminded him that I’d be visiting. Despite everything, a part of me still longed for his attention. I wanted him to notice me, to be proud of me. So, I spent years trying to win his approval, hoping that one day he’d realize how much I needed him. But I was wrong. As my 18th birthday approached, I thought maybe, just maybe, he’d show up this time. Turning 18 is a big deal, after all. I planned a small party with Mom and a few close friends. I even texted Dad about it, and his reply gave me hope: “Sounds great! I’ll try to be there.” The day arrived, and Mom went all out—decorating the house, baking my favorite cake, and even surprising me with a new guitar I’d been eyeing for months. Friends started arriving, and the house was soon filled with laughter and excitement. But as the hours passed, there was still no sign of Dad. I kept checking my phone, hoping for a message, but there was nothing. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to call him. When he finally picked up, I could hear the sound of waves and chatter in the background. “Dad, it’s my birthday,” I reminded him, trying to hide the desperation in my voice. “Oh, right. Happy birthday!” he replied casually. “I’m out on the lake with the guys. I’ll catch you later, okay?” I hung up, feeling tears blur my vision. I rushed to my room and hid there until Mom found me. She sat beside me, putting her arm around my shoulders. “I’m sorry, honey. You know how he is.” “I know,” I whispered, trying to stay strong, but inside, I was shattered. The days after my birthday were a blur. I pretended everything was fine, but inside, I felt invisible. Dad’s absence reminded me that I wasn’t important enough for him. Then, a week later, Dad called. He acted as if nothing had happened. “Hey, I got you a gift,” he said. “Want to come over and get it?” Part of me wanted to tell him to forget it, but another part still held onto that sliver of hope. So, I agreed. When I arrived at his house, he greeted me with a smile and handed me a long, mysterious package. As I unwrapped it, my heart sank—it was a fishing rod. “What do you think?” he asked proudly. “We can go fishing together sometime!” The fishing rod wasn’t just a poorly chosen gift; it was a symbol of his absence, a reminder of the very activity that had taken him away from me. “Thanks, Dad,” I forced a smile. “It’s… great.” He didn’t seem to notice my lack of enthusiasm. “I figured it was time you learned the ropes. You’ll have fun!” He then suggested we go fishing the next weekend, but I knew I couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine. “I… I can’t come next weekend, Dad,” I said. “I’ve got plans with Mom.” He frowned for a moment, but then his smile returned. “No worries, we’ll find another time.” But I knew we wouldn’t, and for the first time, I was okay with that. As I left his house holding the rod, I realized it was time to let go of the fantasy and accept the reality. I couldn’t keep chasing after someone who couldn’t be there for me. Over the next few months, I focused on the people who genuinely cared about me—my mom, my friends, and most importantly, myself. I threw myself into my music, practicing guitar for hours, and began helping Mom more around the house, grateful for everything she had done for me. One evening, as we were doing dishes together, Mom asked, “Have you heard from your father lately?” “Nah, but it’s okay. I’m done waiting for him to show up,” I replied. She looked at me with a mix of sadness and understanding. “I’m sorry it turned out this way, Ryder. I always hoped…” “I know, Mom,” I hugged her. “But I’ve got you, and that’s more than enough.” As time passed, I learned that my worth wasn’t tied to Dad’s attention. I found strength in the love and support around me and realized that sometimes people won’t be what you need them to be—and that’s okay. The fishing rod still sits in my closet, untouched. It serves as a reminder, not of what I lost, but of what I gained—self-respect, resilience, and the ability to let go of what I can’t change. What would you have done if you were in my place?
Demi Lovato Explains Why She Changed Her Pronouns From They/Them To She/Her
Demi Lovato has explained why she switched from using they/them to she/her pronouns.
After starring in the critically acclaimed Disney films Camp Rock (2008) and Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam (2010), Lovato, 32, shot to fame.
She has also enjoyed success in the music industry; approximately 24 million recordings are thought to have been sold in the United States.
Regarding her gender identity and suality, Lovato has been exceedingly transparent with her fans throughout the years. In 2021, the vocalist of “Heart Attack” disclosed on Instagram that she is non-binary. The music sensation said,
“I’m excited to share more of my life with you all today and am proud to announce that I identify as non-binary and will be officially changing my pronouns to they/them going forward.” This is the result of extensive self-reflection and healing effort. I don’t
The singer of “Sorry Not Sorry” said that her early years in the South were “very confusing” and “not very open.”
Thankfully, it seems like Lovato is much more at ease disclosing information about her gender identity and s**uality these days. At YouTube Pride, she said that she was “thankful” to her family for “using my pronouns.”
Additionally, Lovato informed her followers that the shift occurred as she started to learn more about herself
The “Cool for the Summer” singer clarified in an interview with the music podcast Audacy Check-In: “I’ve utilized this time to truly investigate what feels right to me since I’ve learnt about gender identity and being non-binary or gender non-conforming.
“And after a year and a half of investigation, I came to the realization that it was time to share with the world my discomfort with being referred to as a’she’ or ‘her.’”Since it’s something new, I recognize that some people may find it difficult to get used to, but I want to encourage them to keep trying and let them know that it takes time to become used to.
Lovato acknowledged that she occasionally might even “mess up” while using pronouns.
Lovato disclosed on the show that she had developed intimate friendships with members of the LGBTQIA+ community in other places.
“My queer family has become more of a family than friends. I used to identify family as blood related,” the woman stated.
And it seems like I have two families right now. In addition to my biological family, I also have a gay family that I consider to be my chosen family.
Lovato’s engagement to singer and actor Max Ehrich ended a year before she came out as transgender.
The singer of “La La Land” later stated to Glamour that she thought their split was a blessing in disguise.
“As I got older, I realized how queer I really am,” she stated to the outlet. I was engaged to a man last year, and when that didn’t work out, I thought, “This is a big sign.”I had the idea that I would live a lifetime in a relationship. I was relieved that I could live my truth now that I wasn’t going to.
“And when I said goodbye to that relationship, I also said goodbye to everything that was holding me back from being my most authentic self,” Lovato continued during a visit at the 19th Represents Summit.
The pop singer also disclosed to the site that she wasn’t sure how her path of gender exploration would develop at the time.
“I may identify as transgender at some point in the future. I’m not sure how this appears to me. I may identify as non-binary and gender nonconforming for the entirety of my life at some point in the future, she said.
For me, at this precise moment, this is how I identify. Perhaps as I get older, I will come to identify as a woman; I’m not sure what that looks like.
The singer of “Skyscraper” said, “I’ve actually adopted the pronouns of’she/her’ again,” during an appearance on the Sprout Podcast.
“My energy, particularly last year, was balanced between my male and feminine energies, allowing me to enter a washroom where the signs read “women” and “men.”
“Since I didn’t feel particularly feminine, I didn’t feel like there was a restroom for me. I didn’t feel manly at all. All I felt was human.”
In addition, Lovato said she has been “feeling more feminine.””
“However, I believe that what matters is that nobody is flawless,” she said in closing. Pronoun errors happen to everyone occasionally, especially to those who are just learning. It all comes down to respect.
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