Eight years of marriage shattered in one quick breath when my husband Mike brought home his pregnant sidekick and KICKED ME OUT of the house. I packed alright, but what I unpacked was a revenge plot so brilliant and karmic!
Portrait of a sad young woman | Source: Midjourney
It was a Tuesday evening when my life decided to go off the rails. I walked into our living room, tired from a long day at work, only to find a heavily pregnant woman sitting on our couch, eating chips.
At first, I thought maybe I’d accidentally wandered into the wrong house.
But no, there was our ugly floral wallpaper that Mike insisted on keeping, and there was Mike, looking like he’d just swallowed a porcupine.
A pregnant woman sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
“Hey, Michelle,” he said, his voice as casual as if he was asking me to pass the salt. “We need to talk.”
I stood there, frozen, my brain trying to compute the scene before me. The pregnant woman smiled awkwardly, her hand on her belly, looking like she was auditioning for a soap opera.
“This is Jessica,” Mike continued, gesturing to the human incubator on our couch. “She’s pregnant. With my child. It… it just happened. And we’ve decided to be together.”
A woman gaping in shock | Source: Midjourney
I waited for the punchline. Surely, this was some elaborate prank for a new reality TV show. Maybe I’d win a car if I didn’t freak out?
But Mike’s face remained serious, and Jessica kept smiling that infuriating smile.
“Mike,” I said slowly, “what do you mean by ‘it just happened’? Did you trip and fall into her—?”
Mike had the audacity to look offended. “Enough, Michelle! This is serious. I think it’s best if you move out. You can go stay with your mom. Jess and I’ll take over the house.”
A serious-looking man sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
I blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Nope, still not a dream.
I was half-expecting Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell me I’d been Punk’d. But alas, no Ashton. Just my cheating husband and his very pregnant sidekick.
“Alright,” I calmly said. “I’ll pack my things and leave.”
Mike looked relieved, probably thinking he’d gotten off easy. Jessica’s smile grew wider, like she’d just won the lottery. Little did they know, the lottery was about to hit them back, and hit them hard.
A heartbroken woman at the doorway | Source: Midjourney
I went upstairs, packed a suitcase with some essentials, and left without another word.
As I drove to my mom’s house, the shock wore off, and rage took its place. But this wasn’t just any rage. This was the kind of rage that makes you want to do something spectacularly stupid and incredibly satisfying.
The next day, I set my plan in motion.
First stop: the bank. I marched in there like a woman on a mission, which I was. I froze our joint account faster than you can say “cheating jerk.”
The look on the bank manager’s face when I explained why was priceless. I’m pretty sure he was mentally taking notes for his next novel.
A woman outside a bank | Source: Midjourney
Next, I visited a locksmith.
I remembered overhearing Mike tell Jessica they’d be gone for three days, giving me plenty of time to execute my master plan. It was like the universe was conspiring in my favor, and who was I to argue with destiny?
My next stop: my house. The same cozy house Mike and I once lived together, planning a future that was now a total trainwreck.
The puzzled locksmith probably thought I was crazy, cackling as I had him change all the locks on the house. I may have gone a bit overboard and asked for the most complicated, high-tech locks available. Hey, if I was going to do this, I was going to do it right. And big.
A locksmith fixing a door lock | Source: Midjourney
Then came the movers.
I gave them the spare keys and scheduled them to pack up everything I owned, which was basically everything in the house. I even took the toilet paper. Let’s see how Mike and Jessica enjoy using leaves!
But the piece de resistance? Oh, that was yet to come. I had a brilliant idea that would make this revenge not just sweet, but long-lasting.
Toilet paper rolls in a basket | Source: Midjourney
I sent out party invitations. Lots of them. To Mike’s family, our friends, his coworkers, even that nosy neighbor who always complained about our late dog.
The invitation read: “Come celebrate Mike’s new life! Surprise party at our house, tomorrow at 7 p.m.!”
A party invitation | Source: Midjourney
Then, I commissioned a billboard. Yes, a billboard. A huge one. It was delivered and set up on our front lawn, impossible to miss.
In giant, bold letters, it proclaimed: “Congratulations on Dumping Me for Your Pregnant Mistress, Mike! Hope the Baby Doesn’t Inherit Your Infidelity!”
I stepped back to admire my handiwork, feeling like a mischievous fairy godmother who’d just granted the world’s most ironic wish. With a satisfied smirk and a dramatic hair flip, I sashayed away from the scene, eagerly anticipating the chaos that was about to unfold.
A billboard outside a house | Source: Midjourney
The next evening, right on cue, my phone rang. It was Mike, and he sounded like he was having an aneurysm.
“Michelle!” he screeched, his voice hitting octaves I didn’t know he could reach. “What the hell is going on? Why are there people at our house? And what’s with this insane billboard?”
“Oh, that?” I said, trying to sound innocent. “Just a little housewarming party for you and Jessica. Don’t you like the decorations?”
“Decorations? It’s a freaking circus out here! And why can’t I get into the house?”
A startled man talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I couldn’t help but giggle. “Well, honey, you told me to move out, remember? You never said anything about you staying there. I just remembered that the house is solely under my name. So, I changed the locks. Oopsie!”
There was a long silence on the other end. I could almost hear the gears in his tiny brain trying to process what was happening.
“Where are we supposed to go?” he finally sputtered.
“Gee, I don’t know, Mike. Maybe Jessica’s mom would love to have you? I hear pregnancy hormones and in-laws mix really well.”
A smiling woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I hung up, feeling lighter than I had in years. But wait, there was more!
In the days that followed, I had the utilities cut off, canceled the cable, and made sure all our joint assets were transferred into my name. I listed the house for sale, making sure to mention in the listing that it came with a “bonus front lawn art installation.”
I had Mike served with divorce papers at work. I specifically requested the mailman to dress up as a pregnant woman. Just for funsies.
But the universe wasn’t done with Mike yet. Oh no, it had saved the best for last.
A man gaping in shock as he holds some papers | Source: Midjourney
A week later, I got a call from Jessica. Yes, that Jessica. She was crying so hard I could barely understand her.
“Michelle,” she sobbed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… I mean, Mike told me you two were separated. And now… now he’s broke and homeless, and I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what to do!”
I almost felt bad for her. Almost.
“Well, Jessica,” I said, trying to keep the glee out of my voice, “I hear the circus is always looking for new acts. Maybe you two could start a juggling duo? You juggle the baby, he juggles his lies?”
She didn’t appreciate my humor. Tsk! Tsk!
Silhouette of a pregnant woman holding a smartphone | Source: Midjourney
As it turns out, when Jessica found out that Mike was now homeless, broke, and the laughingstock of the town, she decided that maybe being with a guy who had no money, no house, and no future wasn’t such a great idea after all.
She dumped him faster than you can say “Karma’s a b****!”
Last I heard, Mike was living in a tiny apartment, trying to scrape together enough money to pay bills and feed his hungry belly. His family had cut him off, disgusted by his behavior.
They even sent me a fruit basket and a sorry card. I ate the fruits while soaking in my new jacuzzi.
As for me? Well, the house sold for a nice profit. I moved to a beautiful new place, started my own business, and adopted a cat. I named him Karma.
A woman with her pet cat | Source: Midjourney
So yeah, my revenge might have been a bit over the top. But let’s be real, bringing home a pregnant mistress and trying to kick me out of my own house? That’s not just crossing a line, that’s pole-vaulting over it and then setting the pole on fire.
In the end, I learned a valuable lesson: When life gives you lemons, don’t just make lemonade. Squeeze those lemons into the eyes of those who wronged you, and then sit back and watch them stumble around blindly. It’s much more satisfying.
And remember, folks: cheaters never prosper, but the cheated-on with a good sense of humor and a flair for the dramatic? Oh, we do just fine!
A cheerful woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
“If I’d married an American and lived in Hollywood, I’d probably be on my third husband by now.”
Following a promising career in show industry, Rachel Ward appeared to vanish from the public eye.
Rather than pursuing celebrity, she concentrated on her 39-year marriage to Bryan Brown and their expanding family.
She is devoted to her two grandkids, who she now has.
About the same time that Rachel Ward met Bryan Brown, she was listed as one of the ten most beautiful women in the world. She was a rising star who had been nominated for a Golden Globe and appeared on the cover of UK Vogue.
Richard Chamberlain, her co-star in “The Thorn Birds,” was enamored with the stunning actress. Speaking about their time together on set, he remarked that because of his stunning co-star, all the love scenes were a pleasure to perform. She was in love with someone else, though, even as he was falling for her.
At one point, Chamberlain disclosed that Ward was falling in love with Brown at the time, indicating that she was a romantic, but regrettably not for him. Despite this, Chamberlain claimed that Ward’s enthusiasm was infectious, primarily due to the fact that they portrayed a couple in love.
He went so far as to say that it was easy to accept that Ward was in love with him and no one else. “I assumed I was the one! It was amazing. God, he used to think, ‘She’s really into me.
According to Ward, there was a strong attraction between her and Brown. “His pecs were nice.” It is, after all, quite chemical, don’t you think? She talked about what made her fall in love at first, saying, “It’s pretty basic.” In all honesty, there was no other way to explain her feelings—she simply liked him.
Brown, meanwhile, immediately concluded that Ward was “not a bad sort.” He was attracted to her right away, but it took him a while to express his interest in her. For Ward, however, this was no big thing because, according to Brown, it was a challenge she was eager to take on until he eventually changed.
It was obvious once Ward made up his mind about him: the 35-year-old ladies’ man, who was, to be honest, just a man averse to commitment, was done playing games. It was now time for him to be married, if not to the stunning Rachel Ward.
Despite coming from a shattered home, Brown never thought he would get married, but in nine months, he and Ward were married. Before Ward entered his life, he used to assure his mother that he would never get married.
Ward and Brown were married under different circumstances, despite the fact that many people decide to get married after discovering they have everything they could possibly need and want in a spouse. Brown was filming a project with Paul McCartney in London at the time. When Ward arrived, they got into a heated dispute.
Brown said, “I just thought we may as well get married if we’re going to argue like that.” In Oxfordshire, the home of Ward’s boyhood, they were married that year. After a while, they made Sydney their home, raising Rose, Matilda, and James, their three children.
Selecting an Alternative Course
Ward was the star of numerous songs prior to “The Thorn Birds.” Although her 1983 mini-TV series with Chamberlain was well-received, she eventually gave up acting due to scathing criticism of her performance. Speaking on her personal experience, she acknowledged:
“I took being slaughtered very seriously. After that, I never really regained my confidence.
Ward’s career was impacted by “The Thorn Birds,” but in the end, it helped her find the love of her life. As they waited for a take one day, Brown instructed Ward to raise her hand. When he saw three lines in her hand during his palm reading, he concluded that she would give birth to three children. They had no idea that they would end up having three children together.
Ward kept acting, but not very often. She made the decision to put her family first and relocated to her husband’s home country of Australia.
In response to a question concerning advice on preserving marriage, Brown says that one should “say yes to your wife all the time, and if anything goes wrong, say ‘it’s my fault.’” Men would be happier if they knew that.
Together, the charming couple had three children who all follow in their footsteps: The most well-known roles for their 1987-born daughter Matilda are in the television series “Lessons from the Grave,” “How God Works,” and “Let’s Talk About.” Their daughter Rosie is well-known for “Black Mirror,” “Inside No. 9,” and “Gangs of London,” while their only son Joe is well-known for “Let’s Talk About” and “Rake.”
Brown acted in the family-friendly film “Palm Beach,” directed by Ward, with his daughter Matilda. The family completed the project collectively.
When Matilda, Ward and Brown’s daughter, gave birth to Zan Neathway Gooding, her first boy, in 2019, the couple became grandparents for the first time. Brown remained by her daughter’s side, eager to eventually hold his grandson in his arms.
The actor did not sure how to react to being referred to as “grandfather,” even if he was a devoted grandfather, since it seemed to reveal his age. But whether he liked it or not, he had to admit that he would always be referred to as “grandpa.”
At first, Brown was concerned about becoming a grandfather because a lot of people were assuming he would adore it. When his grandchild arrived, he quickly became attached to the young boy and wanted to spend as much time as possible with him. He had wanted to work through that portion on his own.
Following the birth of her son, Matilda married Scott Gooding, formally becoming his adolescent son’s stepmother. They had originally planned to wed on Brown and Ward’s land in New South Wales, but they had to postpone their wedding due to the fear of a wildfire.
The family was forced to evacuate after the bushfires threatened to destroy their house. Although they would have preferred to wed at home like her parents did, Matilda decided to get married in Sydney to make sure everyone was safe.
Gooding’s kid was very involved in the wedding. With a broad smile on his face, he stood behind his father during the ceremony. According to the renowned chef, the wedding was “possibly the best moment” of his life, therefore it was the perfect unforgettable occasion.
Matilda is a happy mother of two now that he has had her younger siblings taken care of. Gooding posted a cute picture of his son strolling and pulling the pram of his younger siblings.
Similar to how Ward and Brown remain involved in their children’s life, they also make an effort to spend as much time as they can with their grandchildren. The devoted grandparents post glimpses of their grandparenting on Instagram, where they participate in a variety of activities.
Ward is seen gardening with her oldest grandson Zan in one cute video. In their herb garden, they can be seen sprinkling sugar cane mulch. Gooding boasts that his mother-in-law is “nurturing” her grandkids in the same manner that she strives to take care of the surroundings.
Zan spends time with their farm’s horses when he and his grandmother, whom he refers to as “mopie,” aren’t in the garden. They also spent a Christmas at the family farm, where the devoted grandma raised her first grandchild by exposing him to the animals at a young age to help him become accustomed to them.
Anouk, her second grandchild, arrived, and Ward made sure to spend equal time with him. One day, Gooding took pictures of Ward walking with her daughter Matilda and her second grandson, capturing the precious moment.
When their daughter Rosie became engaged to her fiance Andrew Cameron in 2020, their family grew even more. The start of a stunning partnership was marked by their Instagram engagement announcement.
After a span of two years, Rosie and Andrew joyfully relocated to a stunning new residence in New South Wales. Surrounded by a forest, waterfalls, and an abundance of avocado trees, the property has a modest house.
All of their neighbors stopped by to give the gorgeous couple a warm welcome when they arrived in the neighborhood. They declare they intend to stay awhile and claim to have everything they could possibly need in the town.
Cameron is an Australian regenerative farmer who shares Ward’s enthusiasm for the practice. He was a perfect fit for the rest of the Brown family, which made it simple for everyone to get along and share interests.
Ward and Brown have raised their family admirably throughout it all. Despite the fact that their children have grown, they maintain a close relationship and try to spend as much time as possible with their in-laws. The Browns, Goodings, and Camerons were a joyful family celebrating Christmas together in 2021.
Ward claims that at that point in her life, she most likely would have been married to a third husband if she had married an American and moved to Hollywood.
Ward and Brown are enjoying a successful marriage and their children are all grown up and independent. Ward acknowledges that she thinks there’s more to life than her marriage and her family life, even after 39 years of marriage and counting. Says she:
“While my family and marriage are very important to me, they are also not the end all be all.” I want to pursue a profession in acting because I adore it.
Ward has all the connections necessary to maintain her presence in Hollywood, even if she has spent the years living in Australia. As a matter of fact, she has been making the trip to Hollywood on demand for years.
Ward claims that even though it could have been more practical for her to live in America for her career, she most likely would have been married to her third husband by then if she had married an American and moved to Hollywood.
Rather, she is in a committed relationship with the passion of her life and has complete control over her house and family. When she’s not working on a project, the actress frequently shares with her kids what she does with pride.
One day, while painting her house over several days, her daughter Rosie captured her elevating a glass and the ladder she needed to do the job. Instagram users agreed with the happy daughter’s goal of showcasing what an amazing mother Ward was.
Ward shares more on her Instagram than only her abilities and priceless family moments—her sense of humor. She corrected misinformation regarding her activities during the COVID-19 pandemic.
She reported the following facts: (1) she hadn’t visited the US in more than five years; (2) she didn’t have a personal trainer; (3) she had spent the previous ten days at the mid-north coast; and (5) she lacked COVID-19. “Take a swing at another witch,” she concluded her amusing message.
Ward works on her farm while Brown is filming “Darby and Joan” on television. Together with other things, they are the owners of The Good Farm Shop, which offers ready-made, organic meals.
It’s totally understandable to feel let down if you don’t receive the birthday wishes you were hoping for. Maybe your friends 
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