I thought my husband would be there for me when my mom passed away, but instead, he chose a vacation to Hawaii over my grief. Devastated, I faced the funeral alone. But when he returned, he walked into a situation he never expected—a lesson he wouldn’t soon forget. I was at work when the doctor’s number flashed on my phone, and somehow, I knew what was coming. My heart sank even before I answered. Mom was gone. Just like that. One minute she was fighting a minor lung infection, and the next… nothing. My world stopped making sense.
I don’t remember much after that. One moment I was sitting in my cubicle, and the next I was home, fumbling with my keys, eyes blurred with tears. John’s car was in the driveway, another one of his “work-from-home” days, which usually meant ESPN muted in the background while he pretended to answer emails.“John?” My voice echoed through the house. “I need you.” He stepped into the kitchen, holding a coffee mug, looking mildly annoyed. “What’s wrong? You look terrible.” I tried to speak, but the words got tangled in my throat. I reached out to him, desperate for comfort. He sighed and gave me a quick, awkward pat on the back, like he was consoling a distant acquaintance. “My mom… she died, John. Mom’s gone.” His grip tightened for a moment. “Oh, wow. That’s… I’m sorry.” Then, just as quickly, he pulled away. “Do you want me to order takeout?
Maybe Thai?” I nodded, numb. The next day, reality hit hard. There was so much to handle—planning the funeral, notifying family, and dealing with a lifetime of memories. As I sat at the kitchen table, buried in lists, I remembered our planned vacation. “John, we’ll need to cancel Hawaii,” I said, looking up from my phone. “The funeral will probably be next week, and—” “Cancel?”
He lowered his newspaper, frowning. “Edith, those tickets were non-refundable. We’d lose a lot of money. Besides, I’ve already booked my golf games.” I stared at him, stunned. “John, my mother just died.” He folded the newspaper with the kind of precision that told me he was more irritated than concerned. “I get that you’re upset, but funerals are for family. I’m just your husband—your cousins won’t even notice I’m not there. You can handle things here, and you know I’m not great with emotional stuff.” It felt like I’d been punched in the gut. “Just my husband?” “You know what I mean,” he muttered, avoiding my gaze and adjusting his tie. “Besides, someone should use those tickets. You can text me if you need anything.” I felt like I was seeing him clearly for the first time in 15 years of marriage. The week that followed was a blur. John occasionally offered a stiff pat on the shoulder or suggested I watch a comedy to lift my mood. But when the day of the funeral came, he was on a plane to Hawaii, posting Instagram stories of sunsets and cocktails. “#LivingMyBestLife,” one caption read. Meanwhile, I buried my mother alone on a rainy Thursday. That night, sitting in an empty house, surrounded by untouched sympathy casseroles, something snapped inside me. I had spent years making excuses for John’s emotional absence. “He’s just not a feelings person,” I would say. “He shows his love in other ways.” But I was done pretending.I called my friend Sarah, a realtor. “Can you list the house for me? Oh, and include John’s Porsche in the deal.” “His Porsche? Eddie, he’ll lose it!” “That’s the point.” The next morning, “potential buyers” started showing up. I sat in the kitchen, sipping coffee, watching as they circled John’s beloved car. When his Uber finally pulled into the driveway, I couldn’t help but smile. It was showtime. John stormed in, face flushed. “Edith, what the hell? People are asking about my car!” “Oh, that. I’m selling the house. The Porsche is a great bonus, don’t you think?”He sputtered, pulling out his phone. “This is insane! I’ll call Sarah right now!” “Go ahead,” I said sweetly. “Maybe you can tell her about your fabulous vacation. How was the beach?” Realization slowly dawned across his face. “This… is this some kind of payback? Did I do something wrong?” I stood, letting my anger finally surface. “You abandoned me when I needed you most. I’m just doing what you do: looking out for myself. After all, I’m just your wife, right?” John spent the next hour frantically trying to shoo away buyers, while begging me to reconsider. By the time Sarah texted that her friends had run out of patience, I let him off the hook—sort of. “Fine. I won’t sell the house or the car.” I paused. “This time.” He sagged with relief. “Thank you, Edith. I—” I held up my hand. “But things are going to change. I needed my husband, and you weren’t there. You’re going to start acting like a partner, or next time, the For Sale sign will be real.” He looked ashamed, finally understanding the gravity of his actions. “What can I do to make this right?” “You can start by showing up. Be a partner, not a roommate. I lost my mother, John. That kind of grief isn’t something you can fix with a vacation or a fancy dinner.” He nodded. “I don’t know how to be the man you need, but I love you, and I want to try.” It’s not perfect now. John still struggles with emotions, but he’s going to therapy, and last week, for the first time, he asked me how I was feeling about Mom. He listened while I talked about how much I missed her calls and how I sometimes still reach for the phone, only to remember she’s not there. He even opened up a little about his own feelings. It’s progress. Baby steps. I often wonder what Mom would say about all this. I can almost hear her chuckling, shaking her head. “That’s my girl,” she’d say. “Never let them see you sweat. Just show them the ‘For Sale’ sign instead.” Because if there’s one thing she taught me, it’s that strength comes in many forms. Sometimes it’s pushing through the pain, and sometimes it’s knowing when to push back.
Dеbrа Wingеr, whоsе реrfоrmаnсеs in thе 1980’s аrе еtсhеd in оur hеаrts, is stunning аt 67
In a timeless tale of romance, Naval Officer Zack Mayo swept factory worker Paula into his arms and carried her from her workplace, leaving fans everywhere wishing they were the beautiful Debra Winger.
The legendary scene in the romantic drama an Officer and a Gentleman–where Richard Gere played Officer Zack Mayo, the handsome hero in navy whites–became the benchmark of love stories for daydreaming fans.
Acting alongside Hollywood’s hottest men, Debra Winger was the envy of many.
Today, Winger, 67, is as beautiful as ever. In the past few years, Winger has posted photos herself on Instagram, first with brown hair and now to a natural wavy gray.
Winger’s first starring role was in the 1976 film Slumber Party ‘57, which led to a part on the hit TV series Wonder Woman (1979), where she played Drusilla, the younger sister to Lynda Carter’s Diana Prince/Wonder Woman. Winger was asked to appear more often but concerned she’d be typecast by that role, she declined.
There were no regrets for that decision, the early ‘80s would be prosperous for the rising star.
At the height of her young career, she received numerous nods from the Academy and Golden Globes for performances in three iconic movies of the 1980’s.
In 1980, she starred in Urban Cowboy, with John Travolta, who at the time was driving fans wild with his smooth dance moves in Saturday Night Fever (1977) and Grease (1988); as Paula in an Officer and a Gentleman (1982) and in Terms of Endearment (1983), where she played Emma, a dying young woman with an over-bearing mother, Aurora, played by Shirley MacLaine.
Despite her huge success, Winger, carving hours from her acting schedule, took a mini Hollywood hiatus, and more than four decades after her rise to stardom, speculation of why she left is still circulating.
Most of these rumours revolve around the feuds that Winger had with her co-stars.
Though fans couldn’t get enough of the handsome Gere, it’s been widely reported that Winger had enough of him on the set.
According to an excerpt published on ABC News from the book, “An Actor and a Gentleman,” by co-star, Louis Gossett Jr., who played Sgt. Emil Foley: “The onscreen chemistry between the two of them was terrific, but it was a different story once the camera was turned off. They couldn’t have stayed farther apart from each other.”
Gossett also claims that Winger didn’t think much of Gere’s acting and wrote that she once described Gere as “a brick wall.” And, the film’s director, Taylor Hackford, whom she also did not likе, she referred to as “animal.”
It wasn’t only people on that film that ruffled her feathers.
Winger, a free spirit in real life and in her role as Emma, also clashed with the prolific MacLaine, a glamourous, eccentric and seasoned veteran.
Their first meeting set the stage for their relationship.
“To see how my character would feel I was wearing all my leftover movie-star fur coats,” MacLaine said in an interview with People. “There was Debra dressed in combat boots and a miniskirt…I thought, ‘Oh my goodness.’”
People writes, “Indeed, the set became the source of Hollywood’s most relished rumors. Winger wanted top billing. One reportedly slugged the other.”
And then, the women were pitted against each other in the Oscars when they were both nominated for best actress.
MacLaine, taking the trophy home, said in her acceptance speech, “I deserve this!”
Rumors aside, Winger insists she “pushed the pause button” on Hollywood for personal reasons and not professional.
“The parts that were coming, I wasn’t interested in. I’d already done that or I’d already felt that. I needed to be challenged. My life challenged me more than the parts, so I dove into it fully,” Winger told People.
After starring in the 1995 romcom Forget Paris with Billy Crystal, Winger took a six-year break.
In that time, she moved to New York City and shifted her focus to actor Arliss Howard, whom she married in 1996. The pair have a son, Gideon Babe, who was born in 1997, and she is stepmother to Sam, Howard’s son from a previous marriage. She also has another biological child, Noah Hutton, whom she mothered while married to her first husband, Timothy Hutton (1986 to 1990).
She reappeared in the 2001 film Big Bad Love, that was directed and produced by her husband, who also co-starred alongside Winger and Rosanna Arquette, who’s next project was 2002 film Searching for Debra Winger. As director of the documentary, Arquette attempts to answer why Winger temporarily аbаndоned her career at peak performance.
Winger gained some momentum with roles in Rachel Getting Married (2008) with Anne Hathaway, the 2017 romcom The Lovers, and the crime-comedy, Kajillionaire (2020).
In 2021, she was in With/In, Volume two of the anthological drama film, in the segment Her Own, which is written and directed by her husband, who also co-stars.
“I don’t know what Hollywood is. I’m living under the freaking sign now, and I just stare at it and laugh. Los Angeles is a place, but the idea of Hollywood doesn’t really exist for me,” Winger said, adding, “…although there must be some in-crowds that I just don’t know about.”
We can’t imagine a Hollywood without Debra Winger and we hope she soon gets to take home an Academy Award ! What are your favorite Winger movies?
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