The morning sun, usually a welcome sight, cast harsh shadows on the woman standing on my porch, her face a mask of indignation. Mrs. Gable, Grandma’s “entitled neighbor,” as she so lovingly referred to her, was a force of nature, and not a particularly pleasant one.
“How long am I supposed to wait for my share of the will?!” she demanded, her voice a grating rasp that could curdle milk. “My grandkids are coming over, and I want them to take their part of the inheritance before they leave!”
I blinked, trying to process the sheer audacity of her statement. “Mrs. Gable,” I said, my voice calm despite the rising tide of annoyance, “Grandma’s will… it doesn’t mention you.”
Her eyes widened, then narrowed into slits. “Nonsense! We were like family! She wouldn’t leave me out.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, “but everything in the house now belongs to me.”
I offered a small concession. “I’ve packed some boxes for donation. You’re welcome to look through them, see if there’s anything you want.”
“Donation boxes?!” she shrieked. “Your grandma was like family to us! We had to be mentioned in the will. Give it to me! I have to see for myself.”
“I can’t do that,” I said, my patience wearing thin. “The will is a legal document.”
She planted her feet, a stubborn look on her face. “Then I’m not leaving. I’ll just stand here until you give me what’s mine.” She proceeded to stand directly in front of my porch, peering into my windows and muttering under her breath.
I sighed. This was getting ridiculous. I needed to give this woman a reality check, a gentle but firm reminder that she wasn’t entitled to anything.
I went inside, grabbed a pen and a scrap of paper, and returned to the porch. Mrs. Gable watched me, her eyes filled with suspicion.
“What’s that?” she asked, her voice laced with distrust.
“I’m writing you a bill,” I said, my voice deliberately casual.
“A bill? For what?”
“For services rendered,” I said, scribbling on the paper. “Let’s see… ‘Consultation regarding inheritance, one hour… $100.'”
Mrs. Gable’s face turned a shade of purple I didn’t think possible. “Are you serious?!”
“Perfectly,” I said, adding another line. “‘Unauthorized surveillance of private property, one hour… $50.'”
“That’s outrageous!” she sputtered.
“And,” I continued, adding a final line, “‘Emotional distress caused by unwarranted demands, one hour… $150.'” I handed her the paper. “That’ll be $300, Mrs. Gable.”
She snatched the paper from my hand, her eyes scanning the ludicrous list. “You can’t do this!”
“Actually, I can,” I said, a smile playing on my lips. “And if you don’t pay, I’ll have to add late fees.”
She crumpled the paper in her fist, her face a mask of fury. “You’re just like your grandma!” she hissed. “Entitled and selfish!”
“Perhaps,” I said, “but I’m also practical. And I value my peace of mind.”
She glared at me for a moment, then turned and stomped off the porch, muttering about lawyers and lawsuits. I watched her go, a sense of satisfaction washing over me.
Later that day, as I sorted through Grandma’s belongings, I found a small, velvet-lined box tucked away in a drawer. Inside was a handwritten note, addressed to me.
“My dearest grandchild,” it read, “I know Mrs. Gable can be… persistent. Remember, you owe no one anything. Your happiness is your own. And sometimes, a little bit of absurdity is the best way to deal with entitlement.”
I smiled, a warm feeling spreading through my chest. Grandma had known exactly what to do. And she had left me the perfect tool to handle it. I had learned a valuable lesson that day: sometimes, the best way to deal with entitled people is to meet their absurdity with your own. And a little bit of humor never hurts.
Leaving Hollywood for her starry-eyed megastar, she finds that love is all you need
Barbara Bach, famously known for her role as Bond girl Triple X, wasn’t waiting for James Bond to come to her rescue; instead, she was on a quest for her own prince charming—rock legend Ringo Starr, also known as Sir Richard Starkey.
Now at the age of 77, Bach reached the zenith of her career when she starred in the 1977 film The Spy Who Loved Me, where she portrayed Anya Amasova, a complex character who was both the love interest and a rival to the charming yet womanizing 007, played by Roger Moore.
In a candid 1983 interview with People, Bach didn’t hold back her opinion about her character’s relationship with Bond, referring to him as “a chauvinist pig who uses girls to shield him against bullets”. Moore himself agreed, stating in a 1973 People interview: “Bond, like myself, is a male chauvinist pig. All my life I’ve been trying to get women out of brassieres and pants”.
Before landing her iconic role in the Bond franchise, Bach had appeared in several Italian films, including Black Belly of the Tarantula, where she shared the screen with fellow Bond actresses Claudine Auger and Barbara Bouchet.
Bach’s portrayal of the KGB agent Anya Amasova not only solidified her status as a beloved Bond girl but also opened doors to numerous opportunities in her acting career. Following her Bond debut, she starred in Mad Magazine Presents Up the Academy (1980) and Caveman (1981), where she worked alongside Ringo Starr, who played a Neanderthal vying for her affections. Interestingly, the movie’s script contrasted sharply with their actual relationship, as they only became romantically involved towards the end of filming.
In a revealing Playboy feature from 1981, Bach noted: “A lot of garbage has been written about us, none of it interesting. The truth is, we weren’t together until the very end of Caveman. Working, we got along fine, but we each had other people, our respective friends. Then, all of a sudden, within a week—the last week of shooting—it just happened. We changed from friendly love to being in love”.
In a 2021 interview with the Irish Examiner, Starr reminisced about their first encounter at Los Angeles International Airport in 1980. “I love the woman. I loved her from when I first saw her at LAX”, he shared. “I’m blessed she’s in my life, that’s all I can ever say.”
Starr, renowned as the drummer for the legendary band The Beatles, was once part of a performance at New York’s Shea Stadium in 1965, where Bach was present. However, she revealed that she wasn’t an ardent Beatles fan, attending the concert with her sister Marjorie, a passionate follower of the band. “I liked [Bob] Dylan, Ray Charles, and the Rolling Stones”, Bach remarked in a People interview from 1981.
Bach’s sister eventually married Joe Walsh, the Eagles guitarist, who later performed with Starr in the All-Starr Band. Just months after John Lennon’s tragic death, Bach and Starr tied the knot on April 27, 1981, with notable guests including Paul McCartney and George Harrison.
Their journey together hasn’t been without challenges. Just before their wedding, the couple survived a near-fatal car accident, which prompted them to vow to stay together. Starr remarked: “We decided we wouldn’t spend any time apart. So far the longest break was five days, and that was too long. I want to live every minute with Barbara”.
The couple also took a significant step together in 1988 by entering rehab, emerging sober since then. Celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in 2021, Starr shared a nostalgic wedding photo with the caption:, “It was 40 years ago today The love of my life said yes yes yes”.
Starr and Bach’s love extends beyond their personal lives; they also have a blended family, with Starr having three children from his late wife Maureen Cox and Bach two from her former marriage to Augusto Gregorini. Together, they run the Lotus Foundation, which supports various causes, including animal welfare, substance abuse, homelessness, and cancer research. Starr donates all proceeds from his art sales to the foundation.
There’s no denying the deep affection shared between Barbara Bach and Ringo Starr, a bond that remains as strong as ever. As Bach expressed: “I love the man, and that’s it”. Starr echoed her sentiments, saying: “There’s no escape… I think I love Barbara as much (today) as I did (when we met), and I’m beyond blessed that she loves me and we’re still together”. Their inspiring love story continues to resonate, and fans eagerly anticipate what they will accomplish together in their charitable endeavors and personal lives.
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