Jake and Mary Jacobs marked their 70th anniversary of a happy marriage last year, but their journey wasn’t simple.
Mary, who is White, and Jake, who is Black, lived in the same city in 1940s Britain. At that time, there weren’t many Black men there.
Even though Mary’s father told her to leave, Mary chose love over easy choices.
“When I told my father I was going to marry Jake, he said, ‘If you marry that man, you will never set foot in this house again.’”
Mary and Jake first met at a technical college where Mary was learning typing and shorthand, and Jake was undergoing Air Force training. They met during the war when Jake moved from Trinidad to Britain.
Jake impressed Mary with his understanding of Shakespeare, and they got to know each other. One day, they invited Mary and her friend to join them for a picnic. Unfortunately, someone passing by saw them and reported Mary to her father. The woman was shocked to see two English girls talking with black guys. After this incident, Mary wasn’t allowed to visit her father again.
After Jake returned to Trinidad, they kept in touch through letters. A few years later, he came back to the U.K. to find a better-paying job.
Jake surprised Mary by proposing, and she, at 19, said yes. However, when she told her family, they kicked her out.
“I left with only one small suitcase. No family came to our registry office wedding in 1948.”
Mary’s father was upset about her marrying a black man, and Mary didn’t realize that society felt the same way.
The early years of their marriage in Birmingham were tough. Mary cried every day, hardly ate, and they faced many challenges. Nobody would talk to them, they couldn’t find a place to live because nobody would rent to a black man, and they had little money.
Even walking down the street together was hard because people would point at them, Mary explained.
Mary and Jake were excited to become parents, but at eight months, Mary gave birth to a stillborn child. She mentioned it wasn’t due to the stress she was under, but it deeply saddened them, and they didn’t have any more children.
As time passed, their lives improved. Mary became a teacher and eventually an assistant principal, while Jake found a job with the Post Office. They made new friends, but Mary felt the need to explain to people that her husband was black before introducing them.
“My father passed away when I was 30, and even though we reconciled by then, he never approved of Jake,” she shared.
Currently, Jake, 89, and Mary, 84, live in Solihull, a town south of Birmingham. They recently celebrated 70 years of marriage.
Jake said he has no regrets, but he also mentioned that today’s black youth may not fully understand the challenges he faced in 1940s Britain.
“When I arrived in the U.K., I faced abuse every day. Once, on a bus, a man rubbed his hands on my neck and said, ‘I wanted to see if the dirt would come off.’ Back then, working in an office as a black man with white girls wasn’t considered safe,” Jake explained.
Despite all the challenges, bias, and abuse, the pair is still deeply in love and has no regrets about being married. They have been happily married for more than 70 years.
These two are a true inspiration, and I wish them a lifetime of pleasure because of the love they have for one another.
What Men’s Beauty Standards Look Like in Different Countries
The mainstream definition of what an ideal man should look like varies from country to country. Just like women, a lot of men try to follow common beauty trends in order to be seen as more attractive. The cultural difference in what exactly people consider objectively beautiful might come as a surprise.
Bright Side did a fun bit of research about what people consider to be the ideal male beauty standard in many countries around the world. Looking at the most beloved male celebs will tell you about what is considered attractive.
1. United States and Canada
According to People’s magazine, the most attractive men in the US for the past 3 years are Paul Rudd (Ant-Man), Michael B. Jordan (Black Panther), and singer John Legend.
The usual definition of beauty, when it comes to men in the United States and Canada, is having a muscular physique, ruggedness, and golden skin. However, in the past couple of years, especially among the younger generation, an androgynous look has become more desirable.
2. India
According to the poll, the most attractive men in India are actors Shah Rukh Khan (Don 2), Aamir Khan (Like Stars on Earth), and Hrithik Roshan (Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara). Even though Shah Rukh Khan took first place, he actually opened up, saying that he has been called “ugly and unconventional” in the past.
The main beauty standard in India is having a lighter skin tone, which gets promoted a lot on TV. Other than that, Indian standards are pretty close to American: tall, muscular man, who have clear skin and a full head of hair.
3. United Kingdom
According to a 2021 poll, the most attractive man in the UK is Tom Hardy (Inception), and 2022 research suggests that Richard Madden (Game of Thrones) has a huge shot of winning that title.
The research data says that the ideal type of man for British people has an athletic build, brown eyes, short dark-brown hair, and some facial hair. In fact, men with beards are found to be over 60% more attractive than men without them.
4. Philippines
The most attractive men in the Philippines have been noted as Josh Cullen Santos from the boy group SB19 and the actor Alden Richards (Imagine You & Me).
The beauty standard in the Philippines has shifted and instead of looking macho, the men care about their appearance a lot and go for a more beautiful look, so they go to salons to get facials. Other standards include having dark hair, being at least 5’9“, and having a more “mestizo” look, which means being mixed with white.
5. South Korea
While western countries prefer men who are athletically built, South Korea likes more of a skinny, androgynous-looking body (not too skinny, fat, or muscular) for men. Men need to be a little bit soft, with slim facial features, double eyelids, and lighter skin.
Male celebrities in South Korea also do not shy away from using makeup or dyeing their hair, actors dye it black to look more youthful while idols dye it “fun” colors, and it is not considered to be revolutionary like it would be in the US.
6. Mexico
Mexicans go for a more “macho” look, which means being extremely masculine, as opposed to South Korea which prefers a more androgynous look. The list of the most attractive men includes actors Diego Boneta (Luis Miguel) and Ryan Guzman (9-1-1) in the first 2 spots.
7. Germany
According to research, German women prefer their men to be taller, with either black or brown short hair. The largest percent of the respondents said that they would like their man to be muscular, but skinny men took a close second place.
Football player Marco Reus and the actor Thore Schölermann have been named the most attractive men.
8. Italy
In Italy, men being overly masculine does not have much importance in terms of their attractiveness. In fact, a lot of men are into grooming and styling their body hair, and Italian men do not shy away from wearing “girlish” colors, like pink or purple.
The most attractive male celebrities are considered to be Raoul Bova and Giulio Berruti.
9. Australia
Australian male beauty standards are focused on physical size and being muscular. While women perceive their bodies as heavier than ideal, men who follow beauty standards, on the contrary, think they are too skinny. The Hemsworth brothers are considered one of the ideals of Australian beauty.
10. The Netherlands
The Netherlands is considered to be a country that has the tallest people in the world, with the average height of a woman being 5’7″ (around 170 cm), and 6’0″ (around 183 cm) for men. Dutch women seek a male partner that is taller than them.
TV presenter Arie Boomsma and actor Michiel Huisman have been named 2 of the most attractive Dutch men, and their heights match up the beauty standard: Boomsma is 6’5 (around 198 cm), while Peelen is 6’1 (around 185 cm). Notably, both men are also muscular and have facial hair.
Which country’s standards align with your own? Do you think standards are hurtful for people’s self-esteem?
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