
In any case, sir, my spouse used to tell me that I had a behind capable of raising the dead from their graves. I wish to avoid taking any chances.
Isn’t that funny?
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The house in the little Missouri hamlet of Defiance blew up, killing two small children.
Because of the extreme weather, their school had canceled classes, so they were at home.
Before Julian Keiser, age four, and Jamison Keiser, age six, could escape their burning house near Highway 94, just outside of St. Louis, or be saved, they passed away early on Friday morning.
Their mother, Evelyn Turpiano, and grandparents, Jennifer and Vern Ham, were able to flee and reach safety, according to officials and a GoFundMe page.

The news source was informed by a neighbor, Sharon Oberlag, that “they were the nicest little boys.” “They thought school was the coolest thing ever, and they were so cute.”
Because their school had canceled lessons to protect the children from the cold, Jaiden, who had just started kindergarten, and Julian were at home when the bomb went off, she added.
Firefighters couldn’t reach the victims in time since the house was already on fire when they arrived.
According to New Melle Fire Protection District Chief Dan Casey, the smoke eaters entered via a window in search of the lads.
“The fire prevented them from being found right away,” Casey stated. Later, the boys’ bodies were discovered.
Oberlag reported to KMOV that she heard an explosion-like sound coming from the residence.

“Thank God, we didn’t know we were going to lose the two little boys, but everyone came running to help.” What transpired is really tragic,” she said to the news outlet.
Oberlag went on, “They attempted, but were unable, to capture the boys, Nick and Travis, who lived next door. It is awful.
The cause of the explosion and fire is still being investigated.

The Hoffmann Family of Companies, a Florida-based enterprise founded by Missourians David and Jerri Hoffmann, was the owner of the building. According to the Post-Dispatch, the Hoffmanns purchased nearby wineries and eateries with the intention of turning the region into the Midwest’s Napa Valley.
“Our hearts are with the member of our team and their family who lost their children and grandchildren,” the firm stated in a statement on Friday. “As a family-run company, we are committed to supporting our staff and our community.”
According to the news source, the house was close to the Defiance RoadHouse, a bar and grill owned by Turpiano, the boys’ mother.
The Post-Dispatch was informed by Dan Tripp, a co-owner of Good News Brewing in Defiance, that Jennifer Ham, Turpiano’s mother, had also operated the for many years.

For the family, Tripp created a GoFundMe campaign, which as of Monday morning had raised over $145,000. He mentioned that both women belong to the Defiance Merchants Association, an organization that supports the regional wine industry.
They say, “You will never forget how excited they were about life and how much joy they brought to everyone around them if you ever met the boys at the Defiance Roadhouse, the Christmas Festival, or the St. Patrick’s Day parade.”

The family will have to pay for two funerals in addition to losing their house and everything they possessed. The statement reads, “The family will need your prayers and emotional support as they grieve the loss of two special little boys in addition to your financial contributions.”
A neighbor named Laura Emerson stopped over to place her Christmas wreath on a water pump by the destroyed house. She hung the wreath up after stuffing it with two plush animals.
“Those boys appeared content.” They were intelligent. They were happy. She informed the press, “They were loved.”
My Mother-in-Law Moved in with Us After Her House Was Flooded – I Was Shocked When I Overheard Her True Reason for Staying

I blinked. Flooding? That didn’t sound right. She lived in a freshly renovated house, nothing but top-tier everything. I hadn’t heard a single complaint about it until now.
Before I could even begin to process, Joe appeared behind me. He looked guilty, eyes darting anywhere but at me. “Yeah… about that.” He rubbed the back of his neck, awkwardly shifting his weight. “Mom’s gonna stay with us for a bit. Just until the house gets fixed.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me?” I asked, my glare piercing.
He shrugged like it was no big deal. “It’s only for a little while, babe. You and Mom get along, right?”
Get along? If by “get along,” he meant the passive-aggressive remarks about how we’d been married for six years and still hadn’t given her any grandkids, then sure. We were best friends. But I plastered on a smile, the kind you give when you’re two seconds away from snapping. “Of course. I totally understand.”
Hours later, after I’d pretended everything was fine, I got up for some water. As I passed the kitchen, I heard them talking in hushed voices.
“You didn’t tell her the real reason, did you?” Jane’s voice was sharp, like a knife slicing through the night.
Joe sighed. “No, Mom. I didn’t.”
“Well,” Jane huffed, “I’m here to keep an eye on things. Married this long with no children… someone’s got to figure out what’s going on. Don’t worry, I’ll handle it.”
My stomach twisted. This wasn’t about pipes. She was here to snoop. To pressure me about kids. To “handle” me. I stood frozen in the hallway, blood boiling. What the hell had I just walked into?
The next morning, I woke up with a plan. If Jane wanted to play her little game, I’d play mine. But I wasn’t going to get into a battle of wits with her. No, I was going to kill her with kindness. By 8 a.m., I had already started phase one of my “operation.”
I cleared out our entire master bedroom. Every piece of clothing, every picture frame, every trace of Joe and me was stuffed into the tiny guest room. I even found Jane’s favorite floral bedspread from the back of the linen closet and spread it over the bed like I was preparing a five-star hotel suite.
When I was done, I stood in the doorway, surveying my work. The bedspread was pristine, her cat pictures were lined up on the dresser, and to top it off, I made a “Welcome to Your New Home” basket. Bath bombs, lavender-scented candles, fancy chocolates.
By the time Joe got home from work, I was already sitting in the cramped guest room, arranging our clothes into whatever space I could find. He walked in, his forehead creased with confusion. “Why are you in here?” He peeked around the corner. “Where’s our stuff?”
“Oh, I moved everything,” I said, turning to him with the sweetest smile I could muster. “Your mom deserves the master bedroom, don’t you think? It’s only fair. She needs the space more than we do.”
His eyes widened in disbelief. “You… gave her our bedroom?”
“Of course,” I said with a grin. “She’s family, after all. We’ll be just fine in here.”
Joe stood there, mouth half open, processing what I’d done. But what could he say? Jane was his mother, and I wasn’t technically doing anything wrong. He sighed and walked out of the room without another word.
For the next few days, I made sure Jane was living like royalty. Fresh towels every morning, little snacks placed on the nightstand, and those lavender candles I knew she loved.
She wandered around the house like she owned the place, smiling at me like she’d won. But while Jane was lounging in luxury, Joe was starting to crack. Sharing the guest room was driving him nuts. Not just the lack of space, but his mom’s new obsession with prepping him for fatherhood.
Every morning, without fail, she’d hand him a schedule of vitamins.
“You need to take these, Joe,” she’d say, thrusting a multivitamin at him. “It’s important to get your body ready if you want healthy kids.”
Joe would roll his eyes but take the pills just to keep her quiet.
It didn’t stop there. “Should you really be watching TV at night?” she’d ask over dinner. “That’s not very baby-friendly. You should be reading parenting books. Or exercising. And no more video games! You need to mature, Joe. Fatherhood is serious.”
By day four, I found Joe sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at a stack of parenting books his mom had ordered online.
“I think I’m losing it,” he muttered, holding up a book titled “What To Expect When You’re Expecting.” “She expects me to read this.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Well, Joe,” I said, suppressing a laugh, “you did say we’d be just fine, didn’t you?”
It was relentless. Jane had taken things up a notch. One evening, she handed Joe a neatly typed list of “fertility-boosting” foods. Kale, quinoa, grilled salmon—no more burgers, no more pizza. She smiled sweetly as if she was doing him the world’s greatest favor.
“Your future kids will thank you,” she chirped.
Joe stared at the list like it was a death sentence. “Wait, no pizza? Ever?”
“That’s right, dear,” she said, patting his shoulder. “I’ve planned all your meals for the week. You’ll feel so much better once you start eating clean.”
That night at dinner, we sat around the table eating dry salmon and tasteless kale. Jane watched Joe like a hawk, her eyes flicking from his plate to his face. He shifted uncomfortably, picking at his food.
“Joe,” she started, “did you take your vitamins this morning?”
He sighed, stabbing a fork into the kale. “Yeah, Mom. I took them.”
“And what about the gym? Did you make time for that? You know, you’ve put on a little weight. It’s important to be in shape if you want to be a good father.”
I couldn’t help it. I kicked him under the table to stop myself from bursting out laughing. He shot me a look, his expression torn between frustration and desperation. After days of this, it was finally getting to him.
Later that night, once Jane had gone to bed, Joe turned to me, rubbing his temples. His voice was low, almost pleading. “I can’t do this anymore, Tiana. The guest room, the vitamins, the baby talk… I’m going insane.”
I bit my lip, trying to suppress a smile. “You have to admit,” I said, failing to keep the amusement out of my voice, “it’s kind of funny.”
His eyes narrowed. “It’s not funny.”
I let out a small laugh. “Okay, okay, it’s a little funny.”
Joe groaned and collapsed onto the bed. “I booked her a room at the hotel down the street. I can’t take another day of this.”
The next morning, he broke the news at breakfast.
“Mom, I’ve booked you a nice hotel nearby until the repairs at your house are done. You’ll be much more comfortable there.”
She blinked, clearly surprised. “But I’m perfectly fine here! And besides, isn’t it time you two got serious about giving me grandkids?”
Joe’s jaw clenched. “Mom, we’ll decide that when we’re ready. For now, the hotel is best for everyone.”
For a moment, Jane just stared at him. Then, realizing she had no leg to stand on, she reluctantly nodded. “Well… if you insist.”
By the end of the day, she was gone. The house was ours again.
As the door clicked shut behind her, Joe collapsed onto the couch with a dramatic sigh of relief. “Finally.”
I grinned, sinking down beside him. “So… kale for dinner?”
He groaned. “Never again.”
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